Sister Chelsea Cloward: Engraven In His Hands

This week has been another beautiful week. I'm in awe every time i sit and reflect, which is quite often. Tuesday we had our conference with Elder Nielsen. Holy smokes. I don't know how i got so lucky, but instead of speaking from the pulpit, he chose to stand next to me and basically rub my back (in a very sweet and non inappropriate way haha) and teach of from there. Man his eyes are powerful. He just stared at me, and extended such beautiful promises. It was something i needed. I've been really trying to learn more about covenants, so it was awesome when he told us that was his focus! i learned so so so much. President emphasized prayer. My prayers have been so unreal since. He challenged us to pray outloud from now on, in gratitude, with less focus on us and to imagine god right next to us. Now, im extending that challenge to you! DO IT! Sister stoker talked on love. In the story of ammon, it wasn't the truth or his power that converted the kings father, but the example of love ammon showed to the king. We need to love all people into this gospel. I remember someone telling me when i first got out, we were such different missionaries. He was all business, and me, love. I have seen so many miracles through adding my love to this area. My favorite thing is to never walk into a door or out of one, without telling and showing people my love for them. Their faces just lit right up. Its as if they have never been told that before.

Another thing im gaining a testimony on is singing. Holy smokes. We have sung to everyone we have come in contact with, and hearts are softening. We've gained new investigators from it (multiple just this week!) and members are being strengthened. I love that in those times i feel so weak physically, i can open my mouth and sing and the spirit comes and wraps his arms around everyone present.

One thing ive learned in my own personal study is from the verse in 1 Nephi 21:16 "Behold, i have engraven thee in the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me" i cant tell you how long ive been studying and praying to know what in the world walls means. but this time, my heart was humble and softened enough to listen to the promptings and learn. immediately my mind was impressed to look it up in the TG. many verses are listed under "walls" but i was led to two in Isaiah. Walls, it means Salvation. I then was then taken to deeper thought. My salvation is continually before him. I am engraven in his hands, because he atoned for me perfectly. He knows my path. His goal is for me to feel his palms, His goal is my Salvation, and that goal of his, and mine is continually on his mind. His prints are there to remind him of what i need to do to gain it, and he is continually before me creating that path for me. I LOVE learning about the doctrine in more depth.

So, miracles! First, i was able to go down to Massachusetts TWICE this week on a special counsel assignment with some sisters. I have gained so much love for the weary, and i have learned how much the Lord trusts us, especially the weary. He just wants us stronger.

Other Miracles included singing to some members friends who were anti meeting us before (there are two different people!) and after singing, both want us to come back!

Another miracle was saturday. I promised our district (there are 15 of us.... SO MANY ELDERS. and ten of them are in one ward!!!!) that i would make them bread. We had to go to the store for some service thing as well, so we went. I felt prompted to go to one lane, but sister a yelled GO TO ONE! so we went. We all looked over at the other lane though, gasped, then ran. Negandro, (the man from last week i think) was the cashier!!!! so we show up, and i boldy asked "hey. have your prayed?!?" haha he said uhh.. no.... but don't worry. i committed him again! THENNNN as we were walking out, we here "bye sisters!" i turn around and see this man waving. i asked if he was a member and he said no, he just admires us and he can always spot us by how nice we dress. I asked him if we could come sing to him and he graciously accepted, THEN gave us a sweet referral. It reminded of me of a blessing i had, that as i am diligent, the lord will place people in my path. Its been a beautiful thing to see that promise continually fulfilled.

So let me tell you, another blessing i had before i came out told me that id work with a lot of special people. I have found them. Tammy, the sweet disabled girl is a challenge for her grandma, and so her grandma didnt come to church. She has since come every week! I sit next to tammy and take care of her during sacrament. I may miss a lot of whats being said, but the spirit i feel being with her surpasses. Theres also a deaf man named claude who is a recent convert. Im learnign ASL at a rapid pace, but not nearly fast enough to converse with him, but we speak the same language of LOVE! I love seeing his bright face and signing "i love you" to him. He tells me back, then i say "no! i really love you!" whenever he shakes me hand, our hands linger in a tight embrace. I admrie him so much for his beautiful blessing of not being able to communicate with everyone. He is so strong. It reminded me of Dallan, and so many others who rely on others to do simple things. The Lord certainly has chosen them all for a great purpose for which we know not.

I'm learning so much humility its a joke, Today we were going to go on a hike with all the elders. Last night we committed, but i really prayed to know the will of my father. I knew if i went, it might limit me later. When i woke up today i was in a lot of pain, and then of course, sharing our studies sister A talked about dc101:36-38. We then studied dilligence together, and scriptures it includes is not runnign faster then we have strength. I just started crying. The spirit surpassed, and i knew what i needed to do. It has been so hard accepting my limits. So hard. But i know i will be blessed.

One last thing, im officially a pro beat boxer (yes, i know i just told you im learning humility...) haha. car rides in our trio are probably the sweetest thing ever.

I love you all! this gospel is so true.

Sister Cloward

proverbs 3:5-6

PS CAPRI FUNK. i walked into presidents home this week and started DYING. YOUR WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT WAS ON HIS COUNTER!!!! ahhhhh i miss you and congrats this week! im expecting pictures!!