Simply Happy Living It...

My people!

How is everyone?! I sure hope your all as happy as this girl. I dont know if life could possibly be any sweeter. I'm amazed at what the Lord is teaching me personally at this time in my life, but more than that im amazed at the trust He has in me. This week i feel like i've allowed the spirit to truly be my constant companion and my best friend. I have had promptings left and right, and have tried to humbly act! There was one experience this week where i felt super prompted to go to a woman named Doty's home. We prayed, and two of us both felt that was the place to go, so we went. We got there, and no one was answering. We were freezing cold, and so we decided to leave. I took one step. It was as if there was a wall and i ran right into it. The spirit told me "get your booty back up there and leave a blessing on the home". I swear i would have never had even thought of that idea. We huddled together, and blessed the home and left the spirit there. I prayed that the angels who were attending us would stay and attend them. I know they did. I felt them.

Another experience we had was with our dear investigator mama jean. She's convinced shes never gonna be a mormon. Between us three sisters, holy smokes. Sister A is a southern belle. she is so sweet and sincere. Sister b and i are a lot a like, except im bold where she is more concerned. We had an amazing lesson with her. Her husband recently passed, and i told her i felt him. I did. I feel him now, the spirit is literally chilling my soul right now as i type this. It was undeniable how bad he wants her to be happy, and how much he so longs for the gospel. As i prayed over her at the end, i felt like my Savior was in front of me, her sweet william behind me pleading for me to share with our Savior his heart. I wish i could better interpret. But all i know is angels do attend. I love them. They are mine. I asked mama jean if she would be mine after she passed. She promised she would.

One thing im also learning and have continued to learn is how much love is needed. We can't get any missionary work done unless we love. So everyone, thats your challenge this week. Learn to love a little more.

The office has been great. Sister P told me she feels they were sent here for me. Elder P calls me his daughter, and treats me exactly like it. Im so taken care of here. My backs still getting worse but progress is being made. Im seeing someone in our ward. He took a fex x rays and he took one look and said "no wonder your in pain. your left side isnt even moving at all" My right side is clear, my left is completely locked up even above the fusion. We'll get it taken care of, i have faith. Which means ill probably be here another transfer!!! AHHH. can you believe in one week i am half way done? I cant. nor do i want to believe it. my heart is here. I love this work. I love my companions. I love my savior!

If i had to pick one reason why the church is true, it would be because i am simply so happy living it.

i love you all!

sister cloward

Engraven In His Hands

This week has been another beautiful week. I'm in awe every time i sit and reflect, which is quite often. Tuesday we had our conference with Elder Nielsen. Holy smokes. I don't know how i got so lucky, but instead of speaking from the pulpit, he chose to stand next to me and basically rub my back (in a very sweet and non inappropriate way haha) and teach of from there. Man his eyes are powerful. He just stared at me, and extended such beautiful promises. It was something i needed. I've been really trying to learn more about covenants, so it was awesome when he told us that was his focus! i learned so so so much. President emphasized prayer. My prayers have been so unreal since. He challenged us to pray outloud from now on, in gratitude, with less focus on us and to imagine god right next to us. Now, im extending that challenge to you! DO IT! Sister stoker talked on love. In the story of ammon, it wasn't the truth or his power that converted the kings father, but the example of love ammon showed to the king. We need to love all people into this gospel. I remember someone telling me when i first got out, we were such different missionaries. He was all business, and me, love. I have seen so many miracles through adding my love to this area. My favorite thing is to never walk into a door or out of one, without telling and showing people my love for them. Their faces just lit right up. Its as if they have never been told that before.

 

Another thing im gaining a testimony on is singing. Holy smokes. We have sung to everyone we have come in contact with, and hearts are softening. We've gained new investigators from it (multiple just this week!) and members are being strengthened. I love that in those times i feel so weak physically, i can open my mouth and sing and the spirit comes and wraps his arms around everyone present.

 

One thing ive learned in my own personal study is from the verse in 1 Nephi 21:16 "Behold, i have engraven thee in the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me" i cant tell you how long ive been studying and praying to know what in the world walls means. but this time, my heart was humble and softened enough to listen to the promptings and learn. immediately my mind was impressed to look it up in the TG. many verses are listed under "walls" but i was led to two in Isaiah. Walls, it means Salvation. I then was then taken to deeper thought. My salvation is continually before him. I am engraven in his hands, because he atoned for me perfectly. He knows my path. His goal is for me to feel his palms, His goal is my Salvation, and that goal of his, and mine is continually on his mind. His prints are there to remind him of what i need to do to gain it, and he is continually before me creating that path for me. I LOVE learning about the doctrine in more depth.

 

So, miracles! First, i was able to go down to Massachusetts TWICE this week on a special counsel assignment with some sisters. I have gained so much love for the weary, and i have learned how much the Lord trusts us, especially the weary. He just wants us stronger.

 

Other Miracles included singing to some members friends who were anti meeting us before (there are two different people!) and after singing, both want us to come back!

 

Another miracle was saturday. I promised our district (there are 15 of us.... SO MANY ELDERS. and ten of them are in one ward!!!!) that i would make them bread. We had to go to the store for some service thing as well, so we went. I felt prompted to go to one lane, but sister a yelled GO TO ONE! so we went. We all looked over at the other lane though, gasped, then ran. Negandro, (the man from last week i think) was the cashier!!!! so we show up, and i boldy asked "hey. have your prayed?!?"  haha he said uhh.. no.... but don't worry. i committed him again! THENNNN as we were walking out, we here "bye sisters!" i turn around and see this man waving. i asked if he was a member and he said no, he just admires us and he can always spot us by how nice we dress. I asked him if we could come sing to him and he graciously accepted, THEN gave us a sweet referral. It reminded of me of a blessing i had, that as i am diligent, the lord will place people in my path. Its been a beautiful thing to see that promise continually fulfilled.

 

So let me tell you, another blessing i had before i came out told me that id work with a lot of special people. I have found them. Tammy, the sweet disabled girl is a challenge for her grandma, and so her grandma didnt come to church. She has since come every week! I sit next to tammy and take care of her during sacrament. I may miss a lot of whats being said, but the spirit i feel being with her surpasses. Theres also a deaf man named claude who is a recent convert. Im learnign ASL at a rapid pace, but not nearly fast enough to converse with him, but we speak the same language of LOVE! I love seeing his bright face and signing "i love you" to him. He tells me back, then i say "no! i really love you!" whenever he shakes me hand, our hands linger in a tight embrace. I admrie him so much for his beautiful blessing of not being able to communicate with everyone. He is so strong. It reminded me of Dallan, and so many others who rely on others to do simple things. The Lord certainly has chosen them all for a great purpose for which we know not.

 

I'm learning so much humility its a joke, Today we were going to go on a hike with all the elders. Last night we committed, but i really prayed to know the will of my father. I knew if i went, it might limit me later. When i woke up today i was in a lot of pain, and then of course, sharing our studies sister A talked about dc101:36-38. We then studied dilligence together, and scriptures it includes is not runnign faster then we have strength. I just started crying. The spirit surpassed, and i knew what i needed to do. It has been so hard accepting my limits. So hard. But i know i will be blessed.

 

One last thing, im officially a pro beat boxer (yes, i know i just told you im learning humility...) haha. car rides in our trio are probably the sweetest thing ever.

 

I love you all! this gospel is so true.

 

Sister Cloward

proverbs 3:5-6

 

PS CAPRI FUNK. i walked into presidents home this week and started DYING. YOUR WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT WAS ON HIS COUNTER!!!! ahhhhh i miss you and congrats this week! im expecting pictures!!

 my heritage! l to r sister caffall my grammie (who goes home in two weeks...) sister BUXTON MY MOM!!!! then sister mayle my sister.

 

 

We're known only by sisters "ab&c" or "the triple combination"

 

the view of west side manch.

this woman is absolutely crazy, and she has my heart. hahah

 

"Arizona Rub"

Everyone!!

 

It's been an incredible week. I don't even know where to begin! Maybe in chronological order?

So, first let me just talk about my senior couple companions, the Pettingill's and Skidmore's. Elder P tells me i'm just like his daughter, and I truly feel a fathers love from him. How in the world do I get so blessed to have so many fathers! But one thing that I am greatly learning from them and also president is what a pure love is like! What a celestial marriage will be like, and all that jazz. It's such a beautiful thing.

 

Another awesome miracle was Sunday. Holy smokes. First, Elder Gifford Nielsen and his beautiful wife Wendy came. We were able to just sit and talk with him for a moment, and he just sat and gave me the "Arizona rub" (its what the elders here have nicknamed president and the stokers rubs they give ha ha. Anyway, he is just an incredible man. I think the biggest thing that hit me was that I have been called to be a master teacher, that it is my job to teach people so that they can understand their agency and use it for good, and make it back home!

 

Another miracle was Sunday night! I felt super impressed to pack a book of Mormon and we went to go teach our Nepalize family. A 17 year old guy was there, and I asked him to tell me his story! he replied I gotta go, and I stopped him and said I was impressed to carry this, I think its for you. He took off, we started singing to the family (and sheesh the spirit was so strong, the parents don't speak English, and the mom Mani was crying!) we finish the song and there's a knock, with Liguandro at the door. he sat right down and said i'm so sorry for leaving, I felt like I needed to come back and listen. We asked some super inspired questions, and then the spirit took over. He said he felt god has abandoned him, and I testified and shared an experience I had my freshman year when for a moment I felt that too. His eyes never left mine. I testified that god doesn't leave or abandon us, we abandon him. After we asked how he felt when we sang and I testified. He told me my voice was so soothing and he never wanted me to stop, that he felt lie nothing else mattered but what I was saying. It was so awesome.

 

Well I am happy, because I know the Savior is before my face making and preparing my way in this journey of life.

 

I love you all! Sister Cloward

Connections...

Hello everyone!

It just blows my mind how fast weeks go by. Especially working in the office and in an area. I cant comprehend it. I dont think i want to either. God's time just amazes me, and i feel like im on it!

So, one of the biggest blessings ive had this week was going to a LA's home. The grandma takes care of her granddaughter because she is special needs. If there is one thing i miss about school, it would be my program and being able to work so closely with special needs people. I've felt so deprived lately, and seriously feel like a piece of my heart was missing. Well, when i saw this adorable little girl, i just melted and couldnt stop thanking Heavenly Father. He knew i needed her. She is such a joy to me. We were sharing our message, and i turned to her, grabbed her in my arms and looked her in the eyes and told her that she has a heavenly father, that he loves her so much and is so proud of her, and that she is His, and always will be. I promised her blessings, and just couldnt help but cry! I LOVE being able to feel a glimpse of that PURE love that our Heavenly Father has for us! We are HIS! We will always and forever be His. It doesnt matter what we do, we are His and he loves us to the end.

So, working in the office has its definite perks. Other than working so close to president and the AP's, i'm in the know all for all the secrets. President has a love and passion like no other for this work. I remember saying to him one time "Don't you ever feel stressed or get exhausted?!" He said "Yeah, but i just love this work! It makes me so happy!" His countenance is unreal. The only downside to the office, is you get nominated for things, like singing at zone conference FOR ELDER GIFFORD NIELSEN (EXCLAMATION POINT) if you didnt watch conference, you wont get that last part... But sheesh. What a task. im excited though! I feel like my voice has seriously progressed since being on a mission so lets pray it gets a lot better between now and next tuesday! He's also coming to our ward on Sunday, so im excited to here from him and be able to be guided by yet another man from God.

So, Becky has been on my mind a lot. I have many people praying for her here and im hoping to call the Boston temple tomorrow and get her on the prayer role here, as well as Dallan. Sometimes as a missionary i wish that everyone and everything would stay the same back at home, but that would just be limiting everyone from their God given potential. I know that despite the lasting effects of the accident, Becky will grow to a greater capacity. She will love, she will cherish, she will appreciate, and she will prosper in such greater ways. Her journey will be long and hard, pain will be her new companion, but i know she will not only be okay, she will be incredible. She will be happy. God has trusted her, Trent, and all the family with this huge trial. He trusts us! He trusts her! What a beautiful thing to know. She, and all of the fam are in my prayers. Mom, keep my posted on Dallan too. Remember that if he ever gets worse, you can call President and let me know!

Yesterday i heard the most amazing quote. I was fasting with such a fervent questions and purpose. It's no secret that im taking my mission transfer by transfer, and really moment by moment. I've been given the task to pray for what is best for me and my body. I was told i needed to be open real and honest, and let everyone know how bad things really are. So here we go. They're pretty bad. I feel so tired, so nauseated, so weak, migraines on the regular, and back pain like i have never felt before. It's safe to say it hurts worse than it did when i first broke it. Im falling a part. BUT! I AM SO HAPPY. I feel so much peace! I feel that all will truly be well. The quote "All will be alright in the end. If it isnt alright, it isnt the end" has seriously kept ringing in my ear. My body isnt alright right now, and so i know that it isnt the end! I was promised the gift of healing, and i know God doesnt lie. I love the peace i feel in each moment. I love the stong assurance that i just need to trust Him. His way will always be better, and i feel like i am gaining more and more trust! I love this journey im on. It is mine, and because of it others are being blessed too. I love being able to testify of the Atonement, and to promise people everything will be okay. We don't know whattomorrow brings, and i definately dont know what His plans are for me, but i know that if i just trust and do what i can, it doesnt matter, because it will be alright. It will be incredible. It will be perfect for me.

On a lighter note... so we sisters have 850 miles per month, and being the end of the month, we were down to small numbers with district meeting in the agenda and needing to take me to the office. it just wasnt going to work. so we call this crazy cute old lady who REALLLLLY  didnt want to take us but we begged and begged. We showed up and guess what. her car wouldnt start. So we drove half way, then decided to park the car and run. Yeah, the one day i wore my kitten heels. So we ran, and we ran, and we ran. In the freeeeezing cold, in heels, on the highway. It gave me a greater appreciation for Folora when she ran to her baptism! Man we couldnt stop laughing. Exact obedience brings miracles, and we were bound and determined to not go over our miles. At the end of the day, we had .2 left. Holllerrrr. Another crazy story is once upon a time we are eating at bishops house, when we get interrupted by a phone call. Nicole says "mom its karen amann" and it doenst even click with me. An hour later, we put it together! Thats only one of the 5 connections i have with this ward... Becky Cambells brother is in this ward too! Nutts how small the mormon world is.

Well, it's about that time i express my sappy love for you all. I love you people!!! This church is so true, because it is HIS. I love the order in it, and i love learning more and more about it each day. I hope you all are recognizing the blessings in your life as you grow more and more obedient to His will!

Loveeee
sister cloward