Dignity....Relief

Merry Christmas people!!!

THIS WEEK HAS BEEN INSANE. Referrals have doubled, so have investigators, so has my trust in the Lord. I feel like my spirit is outside of my body, and i have such a special gift of observing my life through Christs eyes. It's been very unique and very special.

Nancy has her baptism this week. She's basically a member. She goes out and teaches with us all the time. I am so happy for her. Our other investigator who had a baptism date wasnt at church sunday, so after sacrament i called her. She told us theres a lot going on with her family and she has to push her date back. Her ex husband is living with her because he had a heart attack.... FIVE years ago and is abusive and what not. She is also raising her granddaughter, and her daughter (the actual mother) has just moved in with her. She is a saint, and is so strong... but satan is sure working her through her own family. It's pretty sad that he attacks us through some of our most important gifts. Dang man.

So, if anyone knows Nepalize... PLEASE come to New Hampshire. The gift of tongues is real, but holy smokes im struggling with the language. It's hard teaching when its hard to understand, but the spirit is the most important teacher, and thankfully the spirit works through feelings. And he's most definately working through my feelings too this time of year!

Everyone keeps asking (esp our investigators) if we are homesick. I can say with my whole heart thats not even on my mind. YES family, i love and adore you, but i sure love my Savior a whole lot more. He is my best friend and right now i am serving His children! Yesterday i had the opportunity to go to Presidents home and have lunch with him and sister stoker and the ap's, and then have interviews. I wish i could write all about the interview.... but that news can come next week :) What i can tell you is that i was asked to give 3 gifts to the Savior, and after really pondering about it, here they are, so everyone... HOLD ME TO THIS! 1. Dignity. I want to act at all times in such a high manner of dignity, that when im at the store... or just driving by someone, when i pass or when someone sees me they cannot deny that there is a greater being within me. They cannot deny that i am a christian, and that they WILL know HIM because they know me. 2. Relief. I want to provide relief to everyone i come in contact with. Stranger or not, i want to be able to in a moments notice discern what this person needs and provide relief to their hearts and minds. and the third, was love. One night this week i couldnt sleep. The pain was excruciating and i just wanted to CRY. I remembered the words of my incredible mom saying in those moments, get on your knees and dont get off until you feel HIS love. So i did. I then had the thought of Heavenly Father, where do you get your power? Immediately, He answered. My dear daughter, my power is within my love. I then started to study charity and it just makes sense. When we obtain that pure love of Christ, all the negative attributes leave. We are filled with GODS power. Satan will never conquer... because he doesnt love. OHHH love. It's just the best thing ever.

I know that my Savior loves me! I know i am about to go through some extremely hard times in the near future. He is preparing me for some pretty huge trials, but i know He is preparing me to be strong too. I welcome hard things. I embrace them, because i need to be who my  Savior wants me to be. He alone, bore the cross. He alone suffered in the garden. He alone Atoned for me. I'm not alone, nor will i ever be. He lives, and what a beautiful time to remember this. Each day, is a beautiful time to know it too.

Thank you everyone for all the love, prayers, packages, cards. They are never in short supply. AND PRESIDENT OSTLER! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Merry Christmas from New England!

Sister Cloward

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Holy Referrals

Merry CHRISTmas everyone!

What a week. I'll start with my companion. So, when i found out that president was splitting the triple combination and receiving only ONE sister, who also had health problems, i was so heartbroken. I was nervous, stressed, and i felt like the whole world was on my shoulders. I had talked to this sister just a few weeks before. Her companion was an old companion of mine, and had been really struggling so president asked if i would call and counsel with her, so i was able to talk to sister frampton (my comp) to try and get a feel for things from her too. I knew these sisters were struggling, and that is why i was so nervous to receive her. Every single companion i had had (im on my sixth... in my sixth transfer. Goodness gracious im blessed :) ) i have known their story before i received them. But i was so wrong in have preconceived notions about her. She has been one of my greatest blessings here. She has just decided to go home, and is LEAVING ME in four weeks to have surgery on her shoulder for a torn labrum. Both her arms are numb... so they think somethings wrong with her neck too. Putting us two together has proven to be very challenging, but in those challenges is where we receive the greatest growth. She is such an example to me. We immediately had a love for each other and a huge bond! We spit out church raps, she is ALWAYS laughing at me, she picks up my slack and i pick up hers. I feel like we are married but in a non weird way. I feel like through her i am preparing for a glorious marriage, a selfless marriage. She has such a powerful conviction and she is so God fearing over man. She knows going home she is going to get crap. She knows it will be hard, and people will talk behind her back. But she also knows this is what she needs to do. She fears God, not man. What a testimony.

So now on to the miracles of the week. HOLY REFERRALS. we are a referral seeking receiving team! Last monday just at the mall we stated our purpose to ever sales assosciate and got lots of referrals. Tuesday a LA gave us referral, we went to the wrong house, and got a new investigator. The next day, we received another new investigator. Thursday we had some AWESOME lessons, and friday gained two more investigators and were able to bring Nancy (shes getting baptized the 27th) to a lesson. Funny store on that one... so every apartment building here is coded to get into and you have to be buzzed in. So we show up, and they are not answering their phones!! So i had this brilliant idea. Lets just stand in the snow in 10 degrees and yell up  to the third floor to their balcony. SO im screaming JACKIE!!!!! When i have the impression to go find a back door (that was after praying of course!) So we go, and a little kid comes. I ask if he has a key and he says no. He then tells me to back up, puts his leg on the door, and YANKs it open. Totally worked the system. I did heel clicks down the whole hallway. THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PRAY FOR A MIRACLE PEOPLE! 

Then Saturday i felt prompted to make 72 hour kits. We went above and beyond, filling our car with gas, getting new windshield wiper blades, getting tons of warm blankets etc etc. Then what happens? A huge storm hits. We were at a LA's christmas party helping before it started. And so many miracles came from that too!!! We made friendships like no other. That is how we really receive the most success. She show people we care. WE LOVE THEM. SO anyway, President shows up to the party and she turns to him and says "dont you dare ever take this sister away from me." then she referred herself. Oh how i love my sweet Penny!

We two sisters, though only proselyting two hours a day, are the most successful in our zone. It amazes me that success doesnt come from the time we spend doing the work, but the preparation of our hearts and our minds and our willingness to open our mouths and speak. When we open our mouths, we are laid with sheaves, laid with converts. OH YA. we had another sweet referral. His name is king and he is from Ghana. And guess who referred him to us? None other than PRESIDENT STOKER HIMSELF. Im so grateful that he is so eager to get in and do the work too. We are being so blessed! So so so blessed. The spirit is so evident in every lesson. We are quickened with what to say. We are bold, and we are loving. I love this gospel. D&C 130:20-21. That scripture is so real. I know it, because i see it.

I love you all. I hope you all never doubt that i know the truth of this gospel. It is Him. It is His and we are His. God's whole purpose for His plan was simply to bless us. Remember that when discouragement comes, remember it when you fail to see the blessings. Because, They are there and so is He.

Merry Christmas everyone! HE lives!

PICTURES-

The Pettingills two daughters came to visit. i have been adopted in! Mikell and her hub and baby roman are getting kicked out of the pettingills house when we all get home so they p's can make room for me :)

THE MAP. we have 99 areas... so ive been given the job of making the new area map. holy stressful. and yeah, i stole president desk.

Sometiems when it snows really awkward pictures are taken!

 

 

 

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The Gift of Tongues

So I have about 5 minutes since the people are kicking us off here and we JUST got on!!!!

 

Well everyone, this week has been a week of miracles so needless to say I'm pretty sad I don't have much time. My new comp is sister Frampton, who just came from my old comp sister berg, who just gained sister burton! oh how I miss my trio ladies. But I love this girl so much. it is SO hard though cause we are both crips.. I'm office full time and work at night, and she is office when needed. We had a super spiritual study and I felt we needed to pray, we prayed, I looked at her, and she said with tears "I need to go home and have the surgery" so in 5 weeks shes leaving me, and ill be pulled into just an office since the weather is really proving to be bad for me. That's okay! Yesterday in my studies I was praying about why I have this trial, and it came to me "because your spirit was too strong to be tested any other way". last night president came up to me and said he was praying about me the other night and asked why I have this trial, to which the words came to him "because she is too strong. I needed to refine her and this was the only way I could". What a beautiful thing.

 

Yesterday we gained 3 new solid investigators. The Lord blesses us when we are faithful! we have like 15 investigators and only can give about 10 hours a week, with about 8 LA's we are working with too. PRAY FOR US! We are working our bootys off!

 

We have a baptism in a couple weeks, another a week after that, and one shortly after!! I have been so grateful to see the progression and even find some of these people. They have my whole heart!

 

Everyone, I love you! The church is true and I am grateful I know it. What a beautiful time to be on a mission.

 

OH. I believe in the gift of tongues. We are teaching a deaf man, and have a deaf man in our ward. In just 2 days I have learned so much and everyone keeps asking how long I've been signing. Another miracle for the faithful!

 

Sister Cloward

 

ps. im pro driving in the snow. whadupppp

Glad Tidings

MOM!!! + anyone who reads this!  Well, i got both your packages! The big one today. I was already pretty emotional because me and sister a&b are ALL being split and im getting a struggling sister who also has medical problems who will most likely go home, and we aren't in a trio because there is not enough sisters. So im learning really to trust in the lord and know HE ALWAYS has a plan, even if it logically doesn't make sense. Because think about it, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. So when i opened it the first thing i did was grab your letter and the first line i read was about Dallan. I just sobbed. I was at the office with my sisters, and sister stoker and sister p sister skidmore and pres and the assistants. I just sobbed. No, i weeped. President came out of his office and hugged me  and asked what the matter was. He pulled me in and we just talked about dallan. I had actually just born my testimony on him the other day, how i am grateful he was placed in my life so that i could gain a greater testimony on the atonement, and immortality and resurrected bodies. He gave me an incredible blessing.  He said that Dallan came here only because he had to have a part of mortality, and that he will be there in the morning of the first resurrection, and i will be there too, and that i will recognize him by his spirit and that it will be a glorious reunion. How incredible is that. He also said that i can pray for angels to buoy up my family, and that God will honor that prayer, i just need to ask. So family, if you have any neat experiences with feeling angels attending you, write them down and send them my way. So, as i mention Sisters AB&C are being SPLIT. We knew sister a prob would go, but we did not see sister b leaving esp since im mostly an office worker. President had me go aside to inform me of the situation, and asked if i would accept this calling. As much as I didn't want to, how could i not? How could i tell the Lord no? How could i ever limit my potential and limit my growth, even if there is so much uncertainty? I just cant. And so i accepted. I'm receiving a struggling sister again who also may go home for medical soon, and we are together going to hold down the Bedford 2 area while working in the office. Ill still be mostly in the office, and her... she'll probably do a lot of splits except at night we'll go to work. This area has so much potential! The assistants have Bedford one, and don't have much time either. But again, there is no room to doubt or fear. His will HAS to be done. It just has to. I know the Lord trusts me with this! So, one cool miracle. We have 2 investigators getting baptized soon! One was a self referral we contacted LAST MONDAY, and committed her right there to be baptized. She is so excited. Her name is Sherri. The other is Nancy, who NEEDS to quite coffee, so pray for her! and while im at it, if you could pray for all my investigators thatd be lovely. There names are 1. Mama Jean 2. Sherri 3. Purni and Amity 4. Nancy 5. Carolina 6. Lisa 7. Kris 8. Oscany 9. Paul 10. There's lots more but my brain is fogged... So a cool story. Yesterday in testimony a woman got up whose a florist and bore her testimony on a sunflower she had gotten. This sunflower was big, bright and beautiful, and was bumped leaving a whole of petals missing. She was so sad and was about to toss it, when she thought of the atonement. We are all people missing pieces. We are. But because of the sacrifice, we may be whole again, but in the meantime we are still beautiful people, even with missing pieces. Well my beloved people. I love this season. I love that the world is forced to think about our Savior at this time. It's sad to see that over here in the East Christ has been taken out of Christmas, but dont worry, i'm doing my part to exclaim glad tidings and help others rejoice in the greatest man who walked this earth. I love Him, I know Him. I am in His care. Merry Christmas to you all, and may we all reflect on the love that is given to us at every moment that we dont deserve. Love Sister Cloward

Simply Happy Living It...

My people!

How is everyone?! I sure hope your all as happy as this girl. I dont know if life could possibly be any sweeter. I'm amazed at what the Lord is teaching me personally at this time in my life, but more than that im amazed at the trust He has in me. This week i feel like i've allowed the spirit to truly be my constant companion and my best friend. I have had promptings left and right, and have tried to humbly act! There was one experience this week where i felt super prompted to go to a woman named Doty's home. We prayed, and two of us both felt that was the place to go, so we went. We got there, and no one was answering. We were freezing cold, and so we decided to leave. I took one step. It was as if there was a wall and i ran right into it. The spirit told me "get your booty back up there and leave a blessing on the home". I swear i would have never had even thought of that idea. We huddled together, and blessed the home and left the spirit there. I prayed that the angels who were attending us would stay and attend them. I know they did. I felt them.

Another experience we had was with our dear investigator mama jean. She's convinced shes never gonna be a mormon. Between us three sisters, holy smokes. Sister A is a southern belle. she is so sweet and sincere. Sister b and i are a lot a like, except im bold where she is more concerned. We had an amazing lesson with her. Her husband recently passed, and i told her i felt him. I did. I feel him now, the spirit is literally chilling my soul right now as i type this. It was undeniable how bad he wants her to be happy, and how much he so longs for the gospel. As i prayed over her at the end, i felt like my Savior was in front of me, her sweet william behind me pleading for me to share with our Savior his heart. I wish i could better interpret. But all i know is angels do attend. I love them. They are mine. I asked mama jean if she would be mine after she passed. She promised she would.

One thing im also learning and have continued to learn is how much love is needed. We can't get any missionary work done unless we love. So everyone, thats your challenge this week. Learn to love a little more.

The office has been great. Sister P told me she feels they were sent here for me. Elder P calls me his daughter, and treats me exactly like it. Im so taken care of here. My backs still getting worse but progress is being made. Im seeing someone in our ward. He took a fex x rays and he took one look and said "no wonder your in pain. your left side isnt even moving at all" My right side is clear, my left is completely locked up even above the fusion. We'll get it taken care of, i have faith. Which means ill probably be here another transfer!!! AHHH. can you believe in one week i am half way done? I cant. nor do i want to believe it. my heart is here. I love this work. I love my companions. I love my savior!

If i had to pick one reason why the church is true, it would be because i am simply so happy living it.

i love you all!

sister cloward

Engraven In His Hands

This week has been another beautiful week. I'm in awe every time i sit and reflect, which is quite often. Tuesday we had our conference with Elder Nielsen. Holy smokes. I don't know how i got so lucky, but instead of speaking from the pulpit, he chose to stand next to me and basically rub my back (in a very sweet and non inappropriate way haha) and teach of from there. Man his eyes are powerful. He just stared at me, and extended such beautiful promises. It was something i needed. I've been really trying to learn more about covenants, so it was awesome when he told us that was his focus! i learned so so so much. President emphasized prayer. My prayers have been so unreal since. He challenged us to pray outloud from now on, in gratitude, with less focus on us and to imagine god right next to us. Now, im extending that challenge to you! DO IT! Sister stoker talked on love. In the story of ammon, it wasn't the truth or his power that converted the kings father, but the example of love ammon showed to the king. We need to love all people into this gospel. I remember someone telling me when i first got out, we were such different missionaries. He was all business, and me, love. I have seen so many miracles through adding my love to this area. My favorite thing is to never walk into a door or out of one, without telling and showing people my love for them. Their faces just lit right up. Its as if they have never been told that before.

 

Another thing im gaining a testimony on is singing. Holy smokes. We have sung to everyone we have come in contact with, and hearts are softening. We've gained new investigators from it (multiple just this week!) and members are being strengthened. I love that in those times i feel so weak physically, i can open my mouth and sing and the spirit comes and wraps his arms around everyone present.

 

One thing ive learned in my own personal study is from the verse in 1 Nephi 21:16 "Behold, i have engraven thee in the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me" i cant tell you how long ive been studying and praying to know what in the world walls means. but this time, my heart was humble and softened enough to listen to the promptings and learn. immediately my mind was impressed to look it up in the TG. many verses are listed under "walls" but i was led to two in Isaiah. Walls, it means Salvation. I then was then taken to deeper thought. My salvation is continually before him. I am engraven in his hands, because he atoned for me perfectly. He knows my path. His goal is for me to feel his palms, His goal is my Salvation, and that goal of his, and mine is continually on his mind. His prints are there to remind him of what i need to do to gain it, and he is continually before me creating that path for me. I LOVE learning about the doctrine in more depth.

 

So, miracles! First, i was able to go down to Massachusetts TWICE this week on a special counsel assignment with some sisters. I have gained so much love for the weary, and i have learned how much the Lord trusts us, especially the weary. He just wants us stronger.

 

Other Miracles included singing to some members friends who were anti meeting us before (there are two different people!) and after singing, both want us to come back!

 

Another miracle was saturday. I promised our district (there are 15 of us.... SO MANY ELDERS. and ten of them are in one ward!!!!) that i would make them bread. We had to go to the store for some service thing as well, so we went. I felt prompted to go to one lane, but sister a yelled GO TO ONE! so we went. We all looked over at the other lane though, gasped, then ran. Negandro, (the man from last week i think) was the cashier!!!! so we show up, and i boldy asked "hey. have your prayed?!?"  haha he said uhh.. no.... but don't worry. i committed him again! THENNNN as we were walking out, we here "bye sisters!" i turn around and see this man waving. i asked if he was a member and he said no, he just admires us and he can always spot us by how nice we dress. I asked him if we could come sing to him and he graciously accepted, THEN gave us a sweet referral. It reminded of me of a blessing i had, that as i am diligent, the lord will place people in my path. Its been a beautiful thing to see that promise continually fulfilled.

 

So let me tell you, another blessing i had before i came out told me that id work with a lot of special people. I have found them. Tammy, the sweet disabled girl is a challenge for her grandma, and so her grandma didnt come to church. She has since come every week! I sit next to tammy and take care of her during sacrament. I may miss a lot of whats being said, but the spirit i feel being with her surpasses. Theres also a deaf man named claude who is a recent convert. Im learnign ASL at a rapid pace, but not nearly fast enough to converse with him, but we speak the same language of LOVE! I love seeing his bright face and signing "i love you" to him. He tells me back, then i say "no! i really love you!" whenever he shakes me hand, our hands linger in a tight embrace. I admrie him so much for his beautiful blessing of not being able to communicate with everyone. He is so strong. It reminded me of Dallan, and so many others who rely on others to do simple things. The Lord certainly has chosen them all for a great purpose for which we know not.

 

I'm learning so much humility its a joke, Today we were going to go on a hike with all the elders. Last night we committed, but i really prayed to know the will of my father. I knew if i went, it might limit me later. When i woke up today i was in a lot of pain, and then of course, sharing our studies sister A talked about dc101:36-38. We then studied dilligence together, and scriptures it includes is not runnign faster then we have strength. I just started crying. The spirit surpassed, and i knew what i needed to do. It has been so hard accepting my limits. So hard. But i know i will be blessed.

 

One last thing, im officially a pro beat boxer (yes, i know i just told you im learning humility...) haha. car rides in our trio are probably the sweetest thing ever.

 

I love you all! this gospel is so true.

 

Sister Cloward

proverbs 3:5-6

 

PS CAPRI FUNK. i walked into presidents home this week and started DYING. YOUR WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT WAS ON HIS COUNTER!!!! ahhhhh i miss you and congrats this week! im expecting pictures!!

 my heritage! l to r sister caffall my grammie (who goes home in two weeks...) sister BUXTON MY MOM!!!! then sister mayle my sister.

 

 

We're known only by sisters "ab&c" or "the triple combination"

 

the view of west side manch.

this woman is absolutely crazy, and she has my heart. hahah

 

"Arizona Rub"

Everyone!!

 

It's been an incredible week. I don't even know where to begin! Maybe in chronological order?

So, first let me just talk about my senior couple companions, the Pettingill's and Skidmore's. Elder P tells me i'm just like his daughter, and I truly feel a fathers love from him. How in the world do I get so blessed to have so many fathers! But one thing that I am greatly learning from them and also president is what a pure love is like! What a celestial marriage will be like, and all that jazz. It's such a beautiful thing.

 

Another awesome miracle was Sunday. Holy smokes. First, Elder Gifford Nielsen and his beautiful wife Wendy came. We were able to just sit and talk with him for a moment, and he just sat and gave me the "Arizona rub" (its what the elders here have nicknamed president and the stokers rubs they give ha ha. Anyway, he is just an incredible man. I think the biggest thing that hit me was that I have been called to be a master teacher, that it is my job to teach people so that they can understand their agency and use it for good, and make it back home!

 

Another miracle was Sunday night! I felt super impressed to pack a book of Mormon and we went to go teach our Nepalize family. A 17 year old guy was there, and I asked him to tell me his story! he replied I gotta go, and I stopped him and said I was impressed to carry this, I think its for you. He took off, we started singing to the family (and sheesh the spirit was so strong, the parents don't speak English, and the mom Mani was crying!) we finish the song and there's a knock, with Liguandro at the door. he sat right down and said i'm so sorry for leaving, I felt like I needed to come back and listen. We asked some super inspired questions, and then the spirit took over. He said he felt god has abandoned him, and I testified and shared an experience I had my freshman year when for a moment I felt that too. His eyes never left mine. I testified that god doesn't leave or abandon us, we abandon him. After we asked how he felt when we sang and I testified. He told me my voice was so soothing and he never wanted me to stop, that he felt lie nothing else mattered but what I was saying. It was so awesome.

 

Well I am happy, because I know the Savior is before my face making and preparing my way in this journey of life.

 

I love you all! Sister Cloward

Connections...

Hello everyone!

It just blows my mind how fast weeks go by. Especially working in the office and in an area. I cant comprehend it. I dont think i want to either. God's time just amazes me, and i feel like im on it!

So, one of the biggest blessings ive had this week was going to a LA's home. The grandma takes care of her granddaughter because she is special needs. If there is one thing i miss about school, it would be my program and being able to work so closely with special needs people. I've felt so deprived lately, and seriously feel like a piece of my heart was missing. Well, when i saw this adorable little girl, i just melted and couldnt stop thanking Heavenly Father. He knew i needed her. She is such a joy to me. We were sharing our message, and i turned to her, grabbed her in my arms and looked her in the eyes and told her that she has a heavenly father, that he loves her so much and is so proud of her, and that she is His, and always will be. I promised her blessings, and just couldnt help but cry! I LOVE being able to feel a glimpse of that PURE love that our Heavenly Father has for us! We are HIS! We will always and forever be His. It doesnt matter what we do, we are His and he loves us to the end.

So, working in the office has its definite perks. Other than working so close to president and the AP's, i'm in the know all for all the secrets. President has a love and passion like no other for this work. I remember saying to him one time "Don't you ever feel stressed or get exhausted?!" He said "Yeah, but i just love this work! It makes me so happy!" His countenance is unreal. The only downside to the office, is you get nominated for things, like singing at zone conference FOR ELDER GIFFORD NIELSEN (EXCLAMATION POINT) if you didnt watch conference, you wont get that last part... But sheesh. What a task. im excited though! I feel like my voice has seriously progressed since being on a mission so lets pray it gets a lot better between now and next tuesday! He's also coming to our ward on Sunday, so im excited to here from him and be able to be guided by yet another man from God.

So, Becky has been on my mind a lot. I have many people praying for her here and im hoping to call the Boston temple tomorrow and get her on the prayer role here, as well as Dallan. Sometimes as a missionary i wish that everyone and everything would stay the same back at home, but that would just be limiting everyone from their God given potential. I know that despite the lasting effects of the accident, Becky will grow to a greater capacity. She will love, she will cherish, she will appreciate, and she will prosper in such greater ways. Her journey will be long and hard, pain will be her new companion, but i know she will not only be okay, she will be incredible. She will be happy. God has trusted her, Trent, and all the family with this huge trial. He trusts us! He trusts her! What a beautiful thing to know. She, and all of the fam are in my prayers. Mom, keep my posted on Dallan too. Remember that if he ever gets worse, you can call President and let me know!

Yesterday i heard the most amazing quote. I was fasting with such a fervent questions and purpose. It's no secret that im taking my mission transfer by transfer, and really moment by moment. I've been given the task to pray for what is best for me and my body. I was told i needed to be open real and honest, and let everyone know how bad things really are. So here we go. They're pretty bad. I feel so tired, so nauseated, so weak, migraines on the regular, and back pain like i have never felt before. It's safe to say it hurts worse than it did when i first broke it. Im falling a part. BUT! I AM SO HAPPY. I feel so much peace! I feel that all will truly be well. The quote "All will be alright in the end. If it isnt alright, it isnt the end" has seriously kept ringing in my ear. My body isnt alright right now, and so i know that it isnt the end! I was promised the gift of healing, and i know God doesnt lie. I love the peace i feel in each moment. I love the stong assurance that i just need to trust Him. His way will always be better, and i feel like i am gaining more and more trust! I love this journey im on. It is mine, and because of it others are being blessed too. I love being able to testify of the Atonement, and to promise people everything will be okay. We don't know whattomorrow brings, and i definately dont know what His plans are for me, but i know that if i just trust and do what i can, it doesnt matter, because it will be alright. It will be incredible. It will be perfect for me.

On a lighter note... so we sisters have 850 miles per month, and being the end of the month, we were down to small numbers with district meeting in the agenda and needing to take me to the office. it just wasnt going to work. so we call this crazy cute old lady who REALLLLLY  didnt want to take us but we begged and begged. We showed up and guess what. her car wouldnt start. So we drove half way, then decided to park the car and run. Yeah, the one day i wore my kitten heels. So we ran, and we ran, and we ran. In the freeeeezing cold, in heels, on the highway. It gave me a greater appreciation for Folora when she ran to her baptism! Man we couldnt stop laughing. Exact obedience brings miracles, and we were bound and determined to not go over our miles. At the end of the day, we had .2 left. Holllerrrr. Another crazy story is once upon a time we are eating at bishops house, when we get interrupted by a phone call. Nicole says "mom its karen amann" and it doenst even click with me. An hour later, we put it together! Thats only one of the 5 connections i have with this ward... Becky Cambells brother is in this ward too! Nutts how small the mormon world is.

Well, it's about that time i express my sappy love for you all. I love you people!!! This church is so true, because it is HIS. I love the order in it, and i love learning more and more about it each day. I hope you all are recognizing the blessings in your life as you grow more and more obedient to His will!

Loveeee
sister cloward

Unreal Miracles In New Hampshire

MY PEOPLE!!!!

 

Ready for an unreal miracle?! Saturday we had two baptisms for a woman named JAA (shes from south sudan) and another woman named F. That morning we went to F's home to teach her and make sure everything was all set for later that day. She assured us she had a ride, and that she would arrive at 1:30 for the baptism at 2:30. Well,2:30 roles around and JAA is there, but NO F. this woman is a rock. she has a crazy story about satan possessing her life. its nutts. but anyway, we call her phone and its disconnected. at 2:35 the words poured out of my mouth "we need to say a prayer" and let me reassure you, they were NOT my words. We three go and kneel in a corner, and i prayed that whatever was keeping her from arriving quickly would resolve. Five minutes later, F comes running in, mumbling "i ran. im so sorry im late but i ran" we couldnt help but start crying. the faith of this woman, her desire to be baptized so badly that she ran, in heels, in freezing cold weather, 5 miles. But the coolest part was that five minutes prior, as she was running, as we were praying, THE EXACT MINUTE WE PRAYED, an old friend of her saw her on the bridge running, stopped, and asked her if she was crazy and where she was going, told her to get in and that he would drop her off. The power of prayer, it's remarkable. It's real! It's just so powerful. Sunday they were both to be confirmed, and there was no sight of Joyce. They were about to continue on the meeting, when our Ward mission leader came running in with her and her kids. Man God has good timing. It just shows that satan IS powerful, BUT we are so much more powerful than him when we have faith. He tried all he could to get these two rocks to not be baptized and confirmed, but he failed. We are so powerful through our Savior. I love that.

 

So, i guess ill do all the updating on my new area and companions and mission life!

 

My area is the bedford 2 area, which covers bedford (very rich suburban area), west manchester (very ghetttoo), and goffstown (both extremes). i feel right at home. My companions are sister aeschbacher (ashbocker) and sister burton who is still in training. These sisters, my goodness. I have never laughed so much in my life, and felt the spirit to boldly teaching. We were unified the moment we were called together. Everyone thinks me and sister burton are twins, and all people just call us sisters "abc". we're quite the trifecta, and they are truly an answer to my prayers.

 

We have a lot of people we are seeing, mainly in the projects though. Manchester is a major melting pot. Between crazy mainers and here in mamchester with all the sudanese, nepalize, albanians, and others, i feel like i have the most foreign mission in the world. I love these people to death. They are teaching my so much about Christ just by their actions and love for the simplest things. They're also teaching me how to make bomb chow mein india style (they dont believe in "easy on the curry and chili powder") im in HEAVEN. These people are so obsessed with orange juice too. It's so cute. We show up to set up another appointment and they immediately make us sit down, and bring out a platter with three of their best china glasses filled with orange juice and by the time you are down to the bottom they are right back filling it up with more. They do NOT take no for an answer. All of them work at the lindor lindt factory too, and NONE of them like chocolates so we end up with bags and bags of truffles. Kill me. We cant resist.

 

As far as the office, it's incredible how much they bend over backwards for me, even the assistants. My heart is so full. It's also been a tender mercy recognizing that as much as they are blessing my life, im a blessing right back. They prayed me here, no joke. the staff is pretty new and they dont know much about computers, so its been incredible knowing that I AM needed here. The hours never are long, because i always have 5 tasks to do at once, and the spirit here is remarkable. I'm so loved and so blessed. I keep praying in so much gratitude for how happy i am, and how blessed i am. Every moment not spent in the office, out teaching, is much much more precious. I feel a greater power within me. I often reflect at the blessing P. stoker gave me about having shorter time spent out teaching, but being more powerful and productive in those short hours than in a normal missionary day. That blessing is being fulfilled. 

 

The weathers been getting much colder, and with that the pain has been more intense so there is still some learning that needs to be done. I feel the greatest thing i need to learn right now is humility, in the sense of asking for help, and not over doing things that i know will put me in more pain. THEY WONT EVEN LET ME SHRED PAPER in the office, because they can tell even just that puts me over. It's hard, so hard being told you cant do the simplest of things. Its a hard and huge ego blow, but putting that aside, it's a humility GROWTH. It's going to take some time learning this. It may just be one of the hardest things ill learn, but im recognizing this pain isnt going away, and so i need to do my part in helping it. I can't get frustrated when i simply can't go on, but instead i can be grateful that i have incredible companions to help me. I can't feel bad if im inconveniencing people, but instead recognize they will be blessed. It's hard, but i know part of what im learning on a mission is recognizing these things and learning humility in this such way, because EVENTUALLY i'll become a wife, a mother, and have a career that will need me to already know these things. I guess im just grateful i have the ability to learn this. It really is a beautiful thing to continue to learn.

 

I almost forgot to mention! While working in the office, i hear this quiet "hi". i turn around, and oh my goodness i wish i could see my face. MONYA AND ERIK WILLIAMS. i love you two! I was so so so confused and was just in shock. My mind kept thinking "okay that cant be them. im in new hampshire right? thats not them. no that is. what is going on?!" haha. Monya came up and gave me a huge and said "you're shaking". Just another tender mercy. I am so grateful for the love these two have for me, their savior, and each other, and missionary work. You two brought extra strength i needed. And thank you dad for the beautiful roses! Im still in shock that you two came out of your way to come see me. I love you both so much, and will always cherish the moments we spent here in the beautiful New England!

 

I honestly could go on and on and on, but i want to end with my testimony on faith. When we have faith and believe, no thing is ever impossible. I love you all! thank you for believing in me!

 

Sister Cloward

this woman is amazing. we are her fourth round of sisters, and soon to be the last (as far as im concerned). she has had many struggles and trials. i opened up a little bit about how pain is sometimes our companion until we pass, and the beauty that comes from it. She went and got me this shell, that is so beautiful, but has many scratches and brown spots amongst the mother of pearl. She told me to always remember the beauty is there, even when there's speck of brown.

 

you know your a good missionary when.... you baptismal records are carelessly thrown in the car under an open water bottle... whoops! good thing im the one who enters in the baptism info at the office right?

 

nevi. isnt he the cutest sudanese boy in the world?!