Unreal Miracles In New Hampshire

MY PEOPLE!!!!

 

Ready for an unreal miracle?! Saturday we had two baptisms for a woman named JAA (shes from south sudan) and another woman named F. That morning we went to F's home to teach her and make sure everything was all set for later that day. She assured us she had a ride, and that she would arrive at 1:30 for the baptism at 2:30. Well,2:30 roles around and JAA is there, but NO F. this woman is a rock. she has a crazy story about satan possessing her life. its nutts. but anyway, we call her phone and its disconnected. at 2:35 the words poured out of my mouth "we need to say a prayer" and let me reassure you, they were NOT my words. We three go and kneel in a corner, and i prayed that whatever was keeping her from arriving quickly would resolve. Five minutes later, F comes running in, mumbling "i ran. im so sorry im late but i ran" we couldnt help but start crying. the faith of this woman, her desire to be baptized so badly that she ran, in heels, in freezing cold weather, 5 miles. But the coolest part was that five minutes prior, as she was running, as we were praying, THE EXACT MINUTE WE PRAYED, an old friend of her saw her on the bridge running, stopped, and asked her if she was crazy and where she was going, told her to get in and that he would drop her off. The power of prayer, it's remarkable. It's real! It's just so powerful. Sunday they were both to be confirmed, and there was no sight of Joyce. They were about to continue on the meeting, when our Ward mission leader came running in with her and her kids. Man God has good timing. It just shows that satan IS powerful, BUT we are so much more powerful than him when we have faith. He tried all he could to get these two rocks to not be baptized and confirmed, but he failed. We are so powerful through our Savior. I love that.

 

So, i guess ill do all the updating on my new area and companions and mission life!

 

My area is the bedford 2 area, which covers bedford (very rich suburban area), west manchester (very ghetttoo), and goffstown (both extremes). i feel right at home. My companions are sister aeschbacher (ashbocker) and sister burton who is still in training. These sisters, my goodness. I have never laughed so much in my life, and felt the spirit to boldly teaching. We were unified the moment we were called together. Everyone thinks me and sister burton are twins, and all people just call us sisters "abc". we're quite the trifecta, and they are truly an answer to my prayers.

 

We have a lot of people we are seeing, mainly in the projects though. Manchester is a major melting pot. Between crazy mainers and here in mamchester with all the sudanese, nepalize, albanians, and others, i feel like i have the most foreign mission in the world. I love these people to death. They are teaching my so much about Christ just by their actions and love for the simplest things. They're also teaching me how to make bomb chow mein india style (they dont believe in "easy on the curry and chili powder") im in HEAVEN. These people are so obsessed with orange juice too. It's so cute. We show up to set up another appointment and they immediately make us sit down, and bring out a platter with three of their best china glasses filled with orange juice and by the time you are down to the bottom they are right back filling it up with more. They do NOT take no for an answer. All of them work at the lindor lindt factory too, and NONE of them like chocolates so we end up with bags and bags of truffles. Kill me. We cant resist.

 

As far as the office, it's incredible how much they bend over backwards for me, even the assistants. My heart is so full. It's also been a tender mercy recognizing that as much as they are blessing my life, im a blessing right back. They prayed me here, no joke. the staff is pretty new and they dont know much about computers, so its been incredible knowing that I AM needed here. The hours never are long, because i always have 5 tasks to do at once, and the spirit here is remarkable. I'm so loved and so blessed. I keep praying in so much gratitude for how happy i am, and how blessed i am. Every moment not spent in the office, out teaching, is much much more precious. I feel a greater power within me. I often reflect at the blessing P. stoker gave me about having shorter time spent out teaching, but being more powerful and productive in those short hours than in a normal missionary day. That blessing is being fulfilled. 

 

The weathers been getting much colder, and with that the pain has been more intense so there is still some learning that needs to be done. I feel the greatest thing i need to learn right now is humility, in the sense of asking for help, and not over doing things that i know will put me in more pain. THEY WONT EVEN LET ME SHRED PAPER in the office, because they can tell even just that puts me over. It's hard, so hard being told you cant do the simplest of things. Its a hard and huge ego blow, but putting that aside, it's a humility GROWTH. It's going to take some time learning this. It may just be one of the hardest things ill learn, but im recognizing this pain isnt going away, and so i need to do my part in helping it. I can't get frustrated when i simply can't go on, but instead i can be grateful that i have incredible companions to help me. I can't feel bad if im inconveniencing people, but instead recognize they will be blessed. It's hard, but i know part of what im learning on a mission is recognizing these things and learning humility in this such way, because EVENTUALLY i'll become a wife, a mother, and have a career that will need me to already know these things. I guess im just grateful i have the ability to learn this. It really is a beautiful thing to continue to learn.

 

I almost forgot to mention! While working in the office, i hear this quiet "hi". i turn around, and oh my goodness i wish i could see my face. MONYA AND ERIK WILLIAMS. i love you two! I was so so so confused and was just in shock. My mind kept thinking "okay that cant be them. im in new hampshire right? thats not them. no that is. what is going on?!" haha. Monya came up and gave me a huge and said "you're shaking". Just another tender mercy. I am so grateful for the love these two have for me, their savior, and each other, and missionary work. You two brought extra strength i needed. And thank you dad for the beautiful roses! Im still in shock that you two came out of your way to come see me. I love you both so much, and will always cherish the moments we spent here in the beautiful New England!

 

I honestly could go on and on and on, but i want to end with my testimony on faith. When we have faith and believe, no thing is ever impossible. I love you all! thank you for believing in me!

 

Sister Cloward

this woman is amazing. we are her fourth round of sisters, and soon to be the last (as far as im concerned). she has had many struggles and trials. i opened up a little bit about how pain is sometimes our companion until we pass, and the beauty that comes from it. She went and got me this shell, that is so beautiful, but has many scratches and brown spots amongst the mother of pearl. She told me to always remember the beauty is there, even when there's speck of brown.

 

you know your a good missionary when.... you baptismal records are carelessly thrown in the car under an open water bottle... whoops! good thing im the one who enters in the baptism info at the office right?

 

nevi. isnt he the cutest sudanese boy in the world?!

I Believe, I Trust, I Know... So long Augusta, Maine

 October 21, 2013

Hello All!

 

What a week. There's been tender mercies and miracles up the wazoo here in Augusta, and so many tears shed, along with Lobstah, lots of men giving me their numbers (creeeeeeepers), and so many hugs and kisses (from old grandmas of course). Who knew leaving an area would be so hard. Yesterday we sang "God be with you till we meet again" as a quartet (us missionaries) and had the congregation join in for the third. Yeah, everyone was bawling. We 4 augustar missionaries really got close to this ward, but i had the most overwhelming sense of peace that this isn't goodbye, There will be a glorious reunion in the Celestial Kingdom for sure. Sister Wray's had the hardest time of us all. She's staying here along with Elder Flake and both will be getting Senior Companions. All I know is this area is going to just flourish. She really is finding her place and is such a powerful missionary. I've been blessed to learn so much from her. I feel like when you train, the trainer really learns the most, not the trainee.

 

One thing I've learned this week is the meaning of the scripture "i will go before your face..." The Lord isn't just standing in front of us, He has already walked the path, and is now walking it again a few steps ahead of us. He is preparing blessings right before our face, we just need to have faith and walk towards the unknown and believe they are there awaiting us, because they are. I can't even explain the feelings I have as I leave Augusta, and head to the mission office. Every natural part of me wants to feel like "you didn't come here to serve in an office" and that this will be the hardest transition... but instead i just feel peace. YES it's going to be so hard. It's going to take some time to adjust, but the Lord has already walked my path through there and blessings, blessings far in excess than I can imagine are just waiting for me. This is a time for faith, not fear. This is a time for trust, not doubt. This is a time for me to grow even more, to impact the people of New England in a new way. I believe He is placing me here because this is where I will impact the most people i can in the next 6 weeks. There's a purpose for all. I just need to be believing, and I am. Doesn't mean it won't be hard or that the pain will go away, but I believe, I trust, and I know all will be well. Sometimes that's all we need to know before moving forward.

 

My only goal in the Augusta area was to leave it with Christ's imprint more so then when I found it. I think of my patriarchal blessing when it says "you have a great ability to love people, and to have them love you" today in my studies i read 3 Nephi 10 and just asked "dear Savior, what is it like to be thee Savior?" I had the overwhelming sensation of the spirit, and the words came "love. what it's like to be the Savior is to love". My purpose has been complete. I love these people with all of my heart, and I know I am loved right back. I take no credit, for the Lord has blessed me with this gift. Charity is just unreal.

 

As of tomorrow i'll no longer be a Mainer. Sad day. I so fit with these crazy people. It's pretty awesome. I feel right at home. They are just the biggest teddy bears and lovers and givers in the world, with a twist of insanity. I LOVE IT. I loveeeeee MAINE.

 

Well people, wherever you are, i hope you realize how loved you are by your Heavenly Father, your Savior, and by me. Not one prayer of yours goes unfelt by me, and not one person goes unprayed for by me! I love you all!

 

Sister Cloward

Jenna!!! We just committed her to baptism! She's a sweetie. She has every odd against her, but through the Lord all things are possible, so keep her in your prayers people!!

 

Ohhh Richard... he works at the Subway Bishop Owen of the Gardiner (gardnah) ward. yes, I have had free Subway every Monday for 6 months. never again. Anways, he insisted we come over to meet Charlie his cat. I wish you could see where his other hand is... AWKWARD. He's super awesome though. He gave me his address and email and number so you better believe i'm gonna convert him from Bedford next transfer!

 

these women. their impact on me will never ever ever be forgotten.  

Birthdays and Transfers...Will miss these crazy Mainers

October 14, 2013

Hey all!

 

I'm seriously at a loss of words. This week has been everything in one. Monday, we had an exchange and I was down in Damariscotta with sister lundahl. We had a pretty sweet miracle. We found and taught a woman named Arneze. She's nuts but then again every mainer is. Our lesson was so incredible. We taught the Restoration, and the whole time she just kept saying "this seems so right. yes, this seems so right. ive been praying that you would come. ive been praying for this message. I've met the JW's, the Pentecostals, all sorts... but your message is so right." We then got interrupted by a knock on the door. Who was it you ask? Oh... just the town sheriff and detective. My mind was going nuts thinking "shoot. your kidding. do not even tell me we are about to get pulled to the sheriffs office." Well, im grateful to say I did not end up in the slammer, rather some crazy mainer decided he really wanted some money so he stole a car and ran it into the hannafords atm (grocery store) got the truck stuck, then took off on foot. silly silly people... Needless to say my Tuesday was good.

 

WEDNESDAY. ahhhh. so, I guess my body was super tired or something, cause I slept through my alarm (remember how im the lightest sleeper in the world?!?!) and was woken up to a phone call from sister stoker. she told me happy birthday, and that im officially an adult. who wants to hear that?!?! haha she meant well. Then, when getting ready, the medicine cabinet decided it wanted to break and all the shelves came crashing down and liquid was splashing all over me. All I could do was laugh. Our next adventure was to go eat. We went to Water street in Hallowell (super liberal, and a very very same sex centered place) so I just walked into a door, and naturally the 21 year old in me was led to a pub. yep, we walked into the liberal cup pub. we quickly walked out hahah. After, the only person I decided I HAD to see was Ken. He has been MIA so I was praying for a miracle that hed be at his sisters house. We pulled up, asked Dick if he was home, and HE WAS. I spent the next hour in tears. I wish I could just describe how much I love Ken. It'sa love I have never felt before. Ken quietly told me that he just had two surgeries. One, believe it or not was almost identical to mine. Cadaver bone, rods, and a fusion. Only difference is he had one fused, and he didn't brake his bones. He then said that while taking care of that, they found cancer. He is such a fighter. He is such a strength to me. I found myself soon on my knees praying my heart out that God would give me some of his pain. I pleaded and pleaded to give me his licken I find it no coincidence that my back pain has been a lot worse ever since.

 

Thursday we had a pretty inspirational stop by. A members name came to my mind, we went, and she really opened up about how she is having a hard time. She prayed and told Heavenly Father she couldn't handle the pain anymore, to which the words came "my daughter, if your Savior asked you to take this pain so that He wouldn't have to bare so much, would you?" I knew immediately I needed to hear that. Her strength is unreal. She also made a comment "sometimes Heavenly Father just waits for us to outwardly accept a trial, and then it is taken from us". I sure love my Father.

 

Friday, we went and met with our Ward Mission leader. Well, that was an epic fail.

 

Saturday we had lunch with two of my favorite people. Hattie and Sue. They aren't even in my ward.... hahah. We are pretty loved here.

 

Sunday was a beautiful day. It was a day of change, a day of humility, and a day where the Savior took on a lot of my pains. We were in our meeting with bishop, where he made a comment "sister cloward are you okay? your eyes say it all" I got super frustrated. I had a migraine, but I was happy. I started letting my mind think about all the times I have gotten that comment, and I got even more frustrated. im happy people! why cant they see that? then I was super humbled. I got on my knees, and did a lot of talking with my Father. I realized I need to just be grateful. I need to stop asking, stop expecting, and just be grateful. its amazing how quickly your countenance can change when you are just grateful. I told heavenly father that I was going to rest for a few minutes, but that I wanted to still go out and work. we made a pretty sweet deal. ill go out and work, and be more grateful, and asked Him if He would see me through. We went to our first stop, and the moment I walked in my migraine lifted. we left, it came back. we got to our next apt, it lifted, left, it came back. next apt, it went away, so on so forth. Woweeee. He is so there for us.

 

Well, President called me this week and told me next transfer he feels strongly I need to be in the office. I had the prompting that day to ask him where he felt I was needed, if there was a companion who needed to be strengthened, if there was an area that needed my help. He called, and answered my question without even asking. I keep getting the prompting I will be surprised at the impact and work I will do in the office. Heavenly Father is certainly blessing me. Im learning to let go and just take things moments at a time. Im pretty stoked cause Elder Gifford Nielsen (the baller 70 who spoke on missionary work in conference) is coming to our mission, and I be in the office to greet him first. so spoiled. Ill be in a trio with Bedford so ill have the ability to go out and teach and find whenever I want. He's taking care of me.

 

One thing I liked in my studies this week was 3 nephi 3: 20-21 I believe. the Gadianton robbers are threatening the nephites. Lachoneus gathers the woman children and people, and fortifies their city. in 20, the nephties want to go out and fight them, but gidgiddoni basically tells them they are foolish, and to wait. We know there is danger, we know satan is out there, but that does not mean we need to go out and pick a fight with him. We need to prepare, fortify our testimonies, and be ready so that when he does come and try us and tempt us, we will be ready and able to overcome. I love that. The scriptures are so true! I love them with all my heart.

 

 

I love you all! thank you for all the birthday love, packages, prayers, strength, and support you give me. I will forever be grateful for the support I feel. THIS CHURCH IS SO TRUE, and I am so grateful the Lord has chosen me to serve Him! So so happy!

 

Sister Cloward

Giving My All

Dear ALL!

 

My heart is oh so full. I don't think Heavenly Father could possibly pour in any more love in it. One of the greatest things i have come to learn on this mission, is my worth and the love that is mine. I have so much confidence, not in myself, but in my God. I know He is shaping me. I know I am His, and I am in His care, even in His arms. I feel them constantly around me. I feel my hand constantly being gently pulled forward. I hear His constant whispers that He is proud of me, He loves me, He is helping me, and His angels are all around. I hear Him telling me of my beauty, that each day i am becoming even more beautiful, and that He is grateful that i am the means in helping others become more beautiful. I am constantly made aware of the knowledge that His will will come about, if i continually give Him my heart. My potential is great. My worth is divine. My beauty is pure. My love, is simple but yet so profoundly strong. The Lord is shaping me, and though it is one rough process, i keep telling him "shape on!" I marvel at who He is ALLOWING me to become. I marvel at the growth that has taken place within a short 6 months. I am so in debt to my maker it's unreal. Even when i feel i have little to give, i know He is proud of what i am giving. I loved what David Bednar shared about the widows mite. I pray that continually, i am the widow. I do not have an abundance of strength to give. I do not have an abundance of really anything to give. But, i am giving my all and I know Heavenly Father is aware of that. I'm giving every last bit i have to give every moment i can, and for that, He is blessing me with the ability to continually give and never run out.

 

So, did anyone feel a trend in conference? This morning in comp study i asked sister wray "sooo.. whatd you feel hounded in conference about?" "i feel like i need to go home and get married and have kids" "yeah, me too". we went back in our notes and seriously in like 8 different speakers we have written "being a mom is more important than anything in the world" oh the laughs. in due time heavenly father, in due time.

 

Another thing i felt impressed my mind a lot was my covenants. they are so so incredible. im basically going to spend the next week studying and understanding them more. which brings to another thing we heard a lot. Search, study, pray, fast, THEN ask. How often do we skip some of these steps and just expect our father to tell us? I learned this week that Heavenly Father stays silent for a reason. It's because some of our greatest growth comes from making our own decisions. He trusts us to, and if we make the wrong one, He'll speak up. We must always do our part and never expect Him to do it all. I love that. I love that we hold such a great responsibility.

 

Well, This gospel is just so beautiful. My heart is so full. I don't know where my journey on this earth will lead me, but one thing i am sure of, my path is steady and my guide is reliable. I have complete trust in my Master, and His will, i pray, will be done.

 

I love my Lord, He is my all.

 

Sister Cloward