Mangled and Bruised

Dearest Everyone!

 

Where do i even begin... All i know is time doesn't exist. It seriously does not exist when you are serving the Lord. Sometimes i feel like i am on His time. I must be... cause it just goes and goes. I am grateful for that tender mercy, and also not so happy about it either.

 

Mom, you want to know more about my companion eh?? Sister Wray and i are very much alike, and so opposite. She is stubborn, she is strong, she is bold, she is beautiful, she so dang quiet and she is hurting. So now, i am going to plead with you all. Please pray for her. Sister Wray dealt with an addiction for many many many years. She has been beated down and she truly feels like she is broken. Yesterday we were coordinating with the elders and she just lost it and asked for a blessing. Afterwards she opened up a great deal more on so many things that have happened in her life. All i could do was listen, and pray. She was the only thing stopping me from forcing her in the car and taking the 3 hour drive to our mission home so she could get a blessing from President Stoker. Ahhh my heart just aches. BUT. Her strength is unreal. She truly is like one step behind me in life on this mission. I learned last transfer that i am not superwoman. I learned i do have limitations, and that those limitations need to be addressed, which then allowed me humility. She is learning that humility right now, but unfortunately her wounds may take a lot longer to heal. It's been one of those surreal situations watching someone brake and seeing the Atonement SO PRESENT. I am so blessed to be HER companion. We are quite the companionship and oh how i love her. One thing that Heavenly Father has helped me understand is that the greatest missionary work i am doing right now is that of strengthening. I am a sower, and who cares if i never reap. I am a garndener, nourishing members and my companions. Each time before i knew my companion, my mission president has called me to tell me that the Lord is placing someone in my care, who needs ME. I wish i could express how i feel, how grateful i am that the Lord trusts me to strengthen not only the weak, but TO STRENGTHEN THE STRONG. I know i am a blessed daughter of God, for it is so visible in my life.

 

We had our zone conference this past week, and what President Stoker emphasized was working with members, and getting to know our members. Asking them questions about them, and really allowing them to be our best friends. Through that, we gain their trust and we gain the ability to strengthen them and for them to see their purpose and the importance of missionary work and boy does it work. After the broadcast about member missionarys, our ward in augusta is the only ward who is actively doing those things, and i can boldly say that is because we are taking the time to get to know the members. They are seriously my brothers and sisters, and my mom and dads! One of our members refers to his wife as "mom" for me, how great is that haha. Ah i just love this area. President Stoker is one inspired man, i can tell you that.

 

Another thing that has really touched me this week is the ability we have to make any place holy. We are asked to stand in holy places at ALL times, so of course Heavenly Father will provide a way for us to do so. That is simply done by us being an example everywhere. It is done by having a prayer in our heart everywhere. It is done by reading, serving, and being a disciple at all times and in all places. Choose to make your homes, your apartments, your cars, your work space, your classrooms, everywhere to be holy. Stand with Christ everywhere, and i know and promise blessings will pour.

 

So Ken, mom. you HAD to ask about him. My pour heart cant even take it. I havent seen him at all this week. He is "all set" right now. Did you ever get a letter from him? He wont tell me what he is saying to you... but i am super curious to know. Send me a copy of the letter please!!

 

Eliza is seriously incredible. She calls once a day to ask us questions, and is always asking us how we study and how she can be more effective in it. UHHH what? Our last lesson was a little distracting because jon one of the guys in the mental institution was having an episode. I yelled out this is madness and she just started busting up laughing and said "yep. everyday" ELIZA LAUGHED!!! my heart was so happy. I just love seeing the joy and the beauty of this work.

 

Mo is so excited for her baptism and is really working hard at doing the right thing at all times. What an example she is to me!

 

We have a new investigator, his names Dave. More on him later.

 

I just want to end though with my simple testimony of the Atonement. Gosh, it is real. Is is so real and raw. We go through life constantly being tested and beaten and thrashed and broken. At the end of my life, i know i will look as though i am a bike that has just been ran over. I will be mangled and bruised. Heck, i am mangled and i am bruised. But that is where the beauty lies. God doesnt want us returning to Him brand new and barely used. We are to go through life experiencing. We are to go through life enduring. And we are to go through life relying on HIM to get us through the next day until we are at our last, when our Savior will then allow us to become whole again. I love this gospel. It is real. I love this church and the analogy of it to a hospital. We are all broken and we are all seeking to be healed, and in the gospel is where we find refuge to go another day.

 

With all my love,

Sister Cloward

we gave a fireside last night on missionary work, and these are two of our finest members who attended. Brother mcnaughton and his son brian. total mainers

 

 

i dont even know this elders name, but everytime i see him i think colton is serving in my area. not cool

 

i made her take off her shoes for a week so we could win cleanest car award.. no shame