Staying in Augusta....Being purified in the deep

July 29, 2013

Welllll,

 

This week has been one of the toughest weeks of my life. I've learned so many valuable lessons, and i think i have grown more this week than i have my whole mission thus far.

 

First! KEN IS BACK ON! We were in the middle of one of our lessons, and he just stopped us short and said "hey. whens my baptism now?" we told him we had to discuss quitting smoking again and he just laughed and said "i havent smoked since the day you told me i cant get baptized now" uhhh, what?!?! that made our jobs so much easier!

 

Second! I AM STAYING IN AUGUSTA ANOTHER TRANSFER!! I'm follow up training and am so excited! I talked to President Stoker last night about some things, and he mentioned that the sister i will train is someone who is in need of some positivity in the work, and that he knew sister chelsea cloward could help her out! What a blessing to know the Lord trusts you to do that. Pretty humbling and great.

 

Third! Well, im about to pour out some major emotions here... so prepare everyone. The past few weeks have been extremely physically hard, and people who dont even know my condition kept making comments that "there is no need to push yourself too hard that its going to make it worse in the long run" i was so so so confused and i just felt like heavenly father was trying to tell me something... so i sought out many blessings from my bishop, our stake patriach, and ward members. Each time, i was told that the decision would be clear of what Heavenly father wanted me to do. I started praying to know if i was suppose to go home, and had a couple neat experiences with it pointing to yes, although the whole time i was praying to know if the lord wanted me to go home, i already had it in my mind that i was staying no matter what. i was prompted to ask one of our members for a talk i had heard he gave, and no knowing what it was about, he printed it off and i read it. Sure enough, it was about seeking revelation.... and praying with a sincere heart to ACT. Yep, humility check. So, i started praying with a blank slate. I poured out my heart in the true definiton of earnest prayer, and sought out so hard for clarity. Sunday morning, i called President Stoker with an answer i felt like was clear, and i felt peace about it. I told him, through many many tears, i felt like i needed to go home. He then said i want you to talk to my best friend, a man i know you love so much, PRESIDENT OSTLER!!!! ahhhh! man, i sure love him, and he also told me to pay attention to how i felt during the sacrament. So, church passed, president ostler texted me and asked when was good to talk, and then we went forth with our days trying to cram 6 lessons in a couple hours so that i could call president ostler and hear his counsel.

 

Well, after i poured out my heart to him, telling him the honest truth of how i physically am doing, he shared with me how he felt. He reminded me of the blessing he gave me in the hospital almost 5 years ago. He shared with me that in his letter to the general authorities about me, he told them specifically about the promised blessing of being healed and that my mission would be a tool in that. He helped me see that my desire to pray about the lords will has truly been a selfless one, that all i want to do is what the Lord wants me to, and that i know both decisions, whether i go home or i stay will be hard. He helped me understand that IT'S OKAY that i cannot be a white handbook missionary, that there are days i will only be able to go out and teach one lesson and quickly return home to find what little respite i can, but that i AM giving my all, and that the Lord will make the most of the time and efforts i can give. He helped me see that i shouldnt feel guilty for taking care of my body ( although that really is a hard one, especially when all i want to do is get out and work). He then shared with me that when he sets people apart, he sees pictures of events, and shared with me what he saw. He told me he saw me standing at a pulpit, many times, in front of large crowds of people in the New England area, giving firesides, sharing with people of my faith and helping them see the angels that truly do bare us up. He told me he knows i can do this, that there is such a specific and unique mission for me to fulfill, and that the promise of healing hasnt been fulfilled yet, and that he feels my purpose is still here. I can't even describe the peace i felt. The Lord knows im doing my best. He's accepting it, i just now need to accept it myself. We ended with a prayer, and he told heavenly father that i am running on my reserves right now, He asked him to please continue to support me, and to replenish those reserves. He then ended  it with a promise that as soon as my mission is complete, i will be stronger than when i came out physically. Man, what a promise. I just need to endure ever so faithfully.

 

I then called President Stoker, and he literally shouted for joy when i told him i was staying. Man it was so cute! He shared with me how grateful he is for me, and that i should not feel guilty, and to do what i needed to do whenever i needed to do it. If only that would take away the immediate guilt.. Im learning!! He told me he felt prompted that i should read alma 26, and share with him in the morning what i felt. So, here is what i shared with him!

 

"First, in verse 2 i felt prompted to answer Ammon's question and i know that the biggest blessings other than the Atonement in my life, is indeed my trials. Through them, i have been able to develop my gifts and have complete reliance and faith in the Lord. Verse 4, i felt really impressed that i will touch thousands here in NE. In verse 6, the first line, 'yeah, they shall not be beated down by the storm at the last day'... i know that i may feel beaten by this storm but i have faith that miracles will occur daily for me to bring about the promise i was given to be healed. I know i am weak. I know i am nothing without Him, and everything because of Him. i can do this! In verse 27 there is a promise that he will give unto ME success. I know this is personal to me as long as i develop more patience and apply it. I know that He truly does comprehend what i am going through and has all the power and wisdom to make of me a better servant throughout my life on earth, and even beyond that. He is extremely mindful of me. and i feel i have such a specific and unique purpose here. i will be blessed, i just need to sumbit to humility and recognize i am weak and THAT'S OKAY! because He WILL make me strong. One last thing that stuck out to me in verse three, is that i am being made an instrument in gods hands. i wasnt just born or created into a perfect instrument. i am still in the testing phase. imperfections and impurities are EXPECTED and that is more than okay, it is great, because i am learning and my master is reshaping and remolding me until i become who He wants me to be, and then i will journey on home into His arms."

 

President Stoker replied "Sister Cloward i am so proud of you and how you are exercising such great faith, What you are doing is a PURE MIRACLE, and as you read in Alma 26, you WILL impact thousands."

 

Wow.

 

I know the Lord knows me. How more clear could He get, telling me that He knows me and i am in His hands. This is His work, and i am here to faithfully serve until the end. I love the Lord so much, i love Him, His children, and i am learning to even love myself, for we cannot have charity if it doesnt begin with ourselves. I am so grateful he trusts me with this refiners fire.

 

To close, i want to share a quote President Ostler shared with me... "God puts us in deep water not to drown us, but to purify us." I'm being purified, and how lucky am i that these are my trials.

 

Love!

Sister Chelsea Cloward

"you havent been to maine if you havent been to hussies" shot gun wedding anyone??

 

can you tell ken was giving me major sass when i asked for him to smile?

 

mom! i got to make a saguaro cactus this week, paint it and cut it out. oh my southwestern roots were showing way too much this week.

 

anywaysss i forgot to mention a new investigator! her name is eliza, oh the minute i met her i just loved her guts. she is in a mental institution, but she is moving to a home soon! we read i forgot what.. i think mos 3? and she asked how to repent and pray because she wants to work towards baptism!!!! miracles. love them so much.

 

love you alllll!

i know this picture is far from flattering, but yes gregg jill and mom, i was seriously crying the most happiest of tears when i got GREGGS FAMOUS COOKIES. sobbing people.

 

what a cute picture of 1. a member in the background on the comp and 2. a district leader and his sheep. awkwarddd

 

can you feel the love i have for this woman?!?! ahh sister rood. she is a mainer through and through and i love her to pieces.

 

SOLID SLOPPY KISS

July 22, 2013

Well, i wont hide it. This week was incredibly hard. Emphasis on the incredibly please. Emotionally, PHYSICALLY, spiritually, you name it. The Lord through me for a loop, and is majorly testing me. Satan is also trying to throw me through a loop but guess what folks. He aint gonna win.

 

So, it started monday with some weird feelings. I was definately humbled and prayers were answered on that day so i wont focus too much on that one, but then tuesday. ahhh tuesday... We got a call from Ken, teary ken, who told us his daughter had just given stillbirth. My heart seriously broke. And then Thursday, walking in to see him smoking, well, my heart was just ripped out of my chest. The lesson was rough, because we told him he could no longer be baptized the 27th, and he felt like we were punishing him... We knew the spirit would be hard to get back, so we made another appointment for the next day. I called bishop that night and told him, who asked the time and where to meet and said he would be coming with us. Hooray for bishop. man the lesson was unreal. Bishop told ken of his accident story (its a crazy one, if i had a solid day i could tell it, but lets just say his trumps mine for sure.... and i know i was sent to this area to learn so much from him) so the spirit is great, and now Ken is a happy camper and cant wait to be baptized again. I felt super prompted to write my testimony for him in a big triple combination (BOM d&c and PoGP). Remember how he always calls me his sweet little angel? well, he kept saying he knows god needed baby jackson porter more than he did on earth, but why?? in my testimony, i told him that i know that now sweet little jackson porter is HIS angel, leading him and his family even closer to God. i gave him the book in church right before sacrament, and after sacrament he came up to me (now hold on while i introduce the scene) so... im standing talking to brother maschino, the elders are next to us, sister berg is off against the wall talking to the little girls, our bishopric is around us too. Ken comes walking up to me, cuts off brother maschino, says "i know you're braking rules, i know im braking rules..." continues to grab one cheek at a time, and then BAM, he nails a SOLID SLOPPY KISS  right on my forehead, then continues to pull me in as i just go stiff as a board with a deer in the headlights look, and he just craddles me. i was mortified. the elders quickly considered me a sinner, and i just was traumatized. i mean i love ken, but man i was just so traumatized after (ken, if you ever read this im sorry... but im a missionary!!) ahh. anyways. so kens great.

 

i dont have much time to tell any of the other craziness, so i'll just leave everyone with my firm testimony, and a small thankamony cause it's just necessary.

 

I am beyond grateful for a father who is aware of me. In hard times, i have learned that the only place to turn (especially on a mission) is my heavenly father. He knows exactly what i need to hear, he knows exactly what we all need to hear. I truly am learning the Christlike quality of humility, and im learning it in a way i never thought was possible. If you compare ether 12:27/ mosiah 24:14-15 to mosiah 4:27 and d&c 10:4, well that's how im being humbled. We have all been given weaknesses. We have all been given strengths. The lord has asked us to strengthen these strengths and weaknesses, through him. He isnt asking us to push ourselves harder than what we can give, and unfortunately for me that is something that is hard for me to learn. It is truly HARD being on a mission, knowing there is a certain expectation of what a missionary should do, pushing myself to achieve that expectation, and then putting myself in an even weaker spot because i pushed myself too hard. It's definately a hard balance. I'm learning though, and i am grateful for the people who are in my path who are guiding me, who are answering my questions, and who are cheering me on. I mean it when i say i feel everyones prayers. I rely on them. I rely on the power they bring me, and i can't thank people enough for their prayers. I'm learning im not so invincible as i thought i was, but that i am incredibly invincible when i listen to my father and do the things He asks me, even if i dont see why or how it will help. I love my savior, i could say it over and over and over. I love him so much. Already today, i know he has suffered so much for me for THIS DAY because of the pain that i feel this moment. Why does he love me so much, to have suffered for me? I surely wont ever know why here on this mortal earth life, but i do know this simple truth. He does love me. And that is what is getting me through.

 

And now, im off to go kick some elders butts in disc golf.

 

I love you all,

Sister Cloward

one time i caught a snake, and was in heaven. ahhh nature is sure great in mainer ville

 

wellll transfers are soon. so basically what im getting at is pray i stay in augusta please and thanks.

 

loveeeee you allllll

sister cloward

Harrington Family

He is in me...He is in you

July 15, 2013

Greeetings from Augustar, Maine!

 

It has been another fabulous week here in Mainer land. And by fabulous, i mean amazing. The Lord is working miracles nonstop and i get to be the tool and see all of them unfold. It started on Tuesday, when i was doing some family history work and discovered lines going to a King names Wig Wigga. I just found it hilarious... and hey mom! Our lines go back to Adam! Pretty neat huh! Back to miracles though.. We had our first interview with President Stoker and all i can say is that is one inspired man. He is so bold, so ready to get this mission even better, and so loving and caring all wrapped up in one. My comp has been struggling a lot with why she is here and with faith, and most of my interview was discussing how we can help her. President Stoker is truly helping me see how to be selfless. How to not worry about my needs, but to always be looking at how i can help others and in turn trust that my needs will be taken care of. Sure enough, by focusing not on my worries and on how to bless her, blessings have come tenfold. He told me i was a breath of fresh air, and wish he had 200 sister clowards. I had been struggling the prior week thinking about if i am making the difference that i should be. It's always amazing how inspired people are and how the Lord answers our prayers. He also said im going to be a sister trainer leader very soon, so be prepared. i kind of laughed it off and he said im serious sister cloward. be prepared! Oh boy. all that came to my mind was d&c 82:3. Even more blessings will be upon me, my area, and my family as a greater stewardship will be upon my head. I am ever so grateful for a Heavenly Father who trusts me so much, and even more grateful that i am being so privileged to touch so many lives.

 

Another miracle came this week. One morning, i prayed extra extra hard and more fervent to find new investigators that day. We had a meal appointment with Sister Johnson and Mo, and some of her friends were going to be over. We show up at the house, and immediately miracles were pouring. Erik, the father was holding a bible and was just spitting out questions. They are a younger couple with two kids, who just recently lost a baby. Ever since, Erik says there has been a loud voice in his head, directing him. His questions were truly inspired questions, and our answers even more inspired. Things were going so well, and of course he had to leave at 7 for a karate class. His wife kept asking "are you sure you want to leave" and he said was hesitant but firm with his yes... that he needed that time to be in tune with himself. So, they leave, and kid you not 5 minutes later they are back in the house. Apparently, the class was at 5:30, and even though he wrote the times down, he got it wrong. He just kept saying man, im just tripping out, i wrote the times, i triple checked. I guess the lord knew where i needed to be. So we have continue on with our lesson. They are both telling us how they weren't really accepted in other churches, how other churches weren't helping out, when of course, Bishop Dawbin knocks on the door and walks in with boxes and boxes and boxes of bishops storehouse food. Sister Johnson just started crying and said "how did you know?" Erik kept saying "my mind is just tripping" and Kristie too was just amazed. Bishop said something to the fact that when you get a prompting, you act! They showed up to church yesterday and were just so impressed with everything. They've already asked what they need to do to be baptized, and truly have humble hearts and righteous desires. Goes to show, i need to beg Heavenly Father for more investigators more often!

 

Another miracle was Saturday. James Nirza is the elders investigator who got baptized that day, and asked me to speak on baptism because apparently i said "Well if you quit smoking your breath wont smell bad" to him and he said the spirit just hit him like a ton of bricks and then he was done smoking. I hadn't had time in any of my lunch or dinner breaks to write a talk, and the day of it was just as busy so i wasn't as prepared as i wanted to be, but i knew that if i just trusted the Lord, my words would be His words. Sure enough, it was. I don't remember what i said, nor does it really matter. What i remember is looking into James' eyes, feeling the power of the spirit and Savior, and speaking to his soul. Seeing him in white, seeing him continue on to be in his temple white, and seeing the purity in him. It was just unreal. I can never deny the power that was felt. After he came up from being immersed, he had this solemn look, and then threw his fist in the air and said YES, then grasped onto elder nielsen and clapped his hands together (see mosiah 18:11). Why aren't we all clapping our hands together everyday? Why do we as humans fail to remember that each week, if we are worthy, we are being made clean through the sacrament? Why do we forget that the bread and water truly symbolizes Christ? Why aren't we more reverent during the sacrament, because Christs body is on the sacrament table. Why don't we understand that Christ is in us, He truly is in us. Why do we fall short so much? All of these questions have been a driving force for me this week. I not only wear His name on my chest, but His body is within me. He is in me, He is in you, He is in all of us. Ponder on that.

 

Sunday we had ward council, and with the elders were given 45 minutes to introduce a new program we are extending to the families to help them recognize they are just as much commanded to serve as a missionary in their everyday lives as we missionaries are when we are set apart. I have been praying to be more bold and more aggressive, and once again it is incredible to see those prayers being answered. Once again, i dont remember what was said, but i know power was within me greater than my own. I know the spirit was the speaker. I know the words were bold, and unfortunately some of the hearts were not open and willing to hear, so there was some contention on their part, but the spirit was the speaker. It wasn't me. I know that the Lord blesses us with what we ask Him for, through the spirit. I know i have been given the gift of speech and delivery, and i am grateful that i am using that gift. That i am increasing my abilities in that gift, because the Lord sees great need for me too. It's just amazing to know Heavenly Father trusts me, because He is answering my prayers and blessing others through me.

 

Ken is doing so good. He is officially off the cig's and his date is the 27th! I think ive mentioned before he calls me his sweet little angel, and guess what. Yesterday one of the talks was on the ministering of angels. All i can say is that there was so much power and so much direction from the spirit in Bishop Dawsons (the previous bishops) talk. Ken just said "now do you know why i call you my sweet little angel?" I am grateful that i have chosen to be his angel. How blessed am i.

 

My testimony is surely being tested, and strengthened at this time in my life. I know that i am such a blessed daughter of God, because He has chosen me to be apart of His great work in an area that has so much potential. It's amazing to have gone from 0 investigators opening the area, to having FIVE INVESTIGATORS AT CHURCH. ahhh miracles miracles. I love this work. I love my Lord. I love who i am becoming, because i know i am a more valiant servant.

 

Sister Cloward

the guy in the suit is james nirza! the newest augustar member!

 

It's pretty great that us toro's still rule even over in the east coast. marissa is staying here with her parents until she leaves for melbourne for her mission!

 

 

the stokers!

 

anddd ken in his "domain" yes, that is where we have lessons. its great

Oh Man Oh Man

July 8, 2013

Welllll, yet another great week. We FINALLY had our meet and greet with the Stokers. It was just incredible. I don't know if i ever mentioned how anytime President Wilkey walked into the room, the spirit just bore so strong that he was a man called by God. Sure enough, the minute President Stoker walked into the cultural hall, the spirit changed and i turned and saw him and his precious wife greeting the elders. When we were introducing ourselves, he also had us name 2 attributes about our companions where we were from and our favorite scripture and testimony. Sister Stoker bore her testimony on 1 Nephi 3:7. Never has that scripture born so much power to me. She talked about how the Lord gives trials to those who are most often time the weakest, so that we HAVE to rely on Him. Looking back on the past couple of months and even my life, i know that to be true. I was so weak, and only through my times in relying on Him have i been made stronger.

 

Ken, oh man oh man. So tuesday night we had our Book of Mormon class, and he started talking and said "i was chatting with my sister today and told her, 'well. it looks like im going to be a mormon'" If only you could see mine and elder nielsen's face. It was like Mr. Griswalds face in family vacation when the lights FINALLY came on. Elder nielsen had taught ken once for me and sister buxton when i was sick and if only you all could see the change. But alas! KENS GOING TO BE A MORMON. and i have a firm testimony that he will be a leader amongst many in the catholic community around here in bringing others to the truth. Ken knows his stuff. People will seek to know more because of his example in always doing whats right. So here's a plug for everyone, be that example! You never know who is watching and will follow you!

 

We also found a new investigator! I think i may or may not have mentioned him before but we were going to see a now former investigator (dwight... he just tells you the same story 5 times in 20 minutes so we had to drop him..)  and dwight was out talking to jon. we brought a girl in the ward named sariah with us, so sariah and s berg took on dwight and i took on jon and his son bubba. i had an immediate love for the two. jon is paralyzed and has rods in his back too!!! people with rods here just pop outta every corner! But man, he is just so sweet and so humble and so righteously desires to teach his son the best. I had a super cool experience with sharing a scripture that perfectly applied to what me and bubba were talking about that i had read randomly that morning. I'm learning the Lord truly is in all things. Every single thing. It's also amazing how so many times i will be prompted to text someone, and come to find out how impactful it was YET AGAIN. It's a beautiful thing to see my desires to be more in tune are improving. That's all the Lord asks of us, to improve. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes we think we are perfectly fine where we are, but we aren't. I found my self in a content place before serving, and i hope i will never find myself in a content place ever again. I have so much to learn and grow and know still. Sometimes i get overwhelmed with needing to know so much more doctrine, but i am always reminded the Lord knows what His children need to know who i am serving, just let Him direct my studies and i'll be fine. Trust is a very hard concept, but the promise is given that if we trust in the Lord, salvation will be ours.

 

Well family, i love you all! thank you for the continual love and support and prayers. Im still struggling health wise, but it's been easier to just learn that my spirit is not my body, and as long as im nourishing my spirit in the times my body needs to catch up, i'll be more than okay. I'm holding to the promise in alma 40:23.

 

loveeee, sister cloward

red hot dogs for the fourth! apparently red hot dogs are all maine sells... mom you asked if people have AC's here in maine, NO. they do not. hence the sweaty pictures, but bishop was so kind enough to go buy us one and install it a couple nights ago. to say i was happy is quite the understatement.

 

Week of Miracles

July 1, 2013

Week of miracles! I wonder if anyone ever gets sick of me saying that, cause truly every dang week is a week of miracles. But it is! So, miracle one equals two new investigators. One just randomly called after i gave her our number and asked us to come study with her. after our 2nd lesson i was prompted to invite her to be baptized, the spirit was just POUNDING and of course as soon as i extended the invite the phone rang. dang satan. dang dang dang satan. KEN. Let's talk about him. So he is the one me and sister buxton found while going to see a LA and boxing her in. I invited him to be baptized july 20th and you better believe he accepted. But then, satan concurred again. Ken deals with crazy athritis and long story short, he couldnt come to church. So yesterday he kept coming to my mind and we truly had zero time to go see him, but i just couldnt deny the prompting so a member came with us to go see him and i guess he was having a really "melancholy" day which is NOT like him. he's always telling ME to be more faithful (and not to be prideful, but sheesh is that saying a lot (ill repent for that comment later i promise!)) and the past few visits extending a priesthood blessing invite to him has come to mind, and so finally i asked if he would like one to which he said "HE-- YES" why didnt i ask him sooner? haha ahhh ken... he promised me he'll be baptized before i leave, and i told him no it doesnt work that way. get baptized when you feel it is right. Our other investigators are going super well too. We almost doubled our lessons this week, which is saying a lot. The lord is truly keeping us sisters busy busy busy. Its pathetic to say this.... but we havent even done our weekly planning (which takes about 3 hours and is suppose to be done friday morning) nor will we have any time until wednesday morning... The Lord just knows i need to stay busy in order to not think about myself right now. Which leads to another miracle. I have a migraine about everyday, and feel pretty nauseated too, and my back just is not a lovely back right now. BUT, when i pray for strength, the moment i walk onto someones property to teach them, my pain is just gone. Completely gone. Well, not my back, but the Lord gives me the ability to not focus on it whatsoever, and then the moment i step off of their property, the pain is back. He's taking care of me!

 

I'm at the point in my mission where i just never want to come home. I never thought i would see this day, but man. It's true mom, im never coming home. I love these people so much. New Englanders are a rare breed, but i just love and adore them. They truly are blessing me and teaching me and pushing me to my limits, but as i am pushed and pushed by them my limits increase. AKA im growing. and im growing a lot. The Lord is sculpting me to who He needs me to be, because i have finally thrown in the towel and have allowed Him to do whatever He pleases. I trust Him, He is my maker and He is not done creating me. My relationship with my Savior is ever increasing and growing, i'm amazed at who He is allowing me to become.

 

I love you all, and it's just my simple plea that you too, will allow your Savior to continue to shape you. Find out your weaknesses, your strengths, your stubborn areas and pray to know how to let go and i promise you all, you will. You will let go, and He will hold on and create a better you.

 

Love,

Sister Cloward

EGD and Reality

June 24, 2013

OKAY i'm about to brag here real quick.   So wednesday i went and got the EGD?? and apparently when i was coming out of anesthesia, i basically taught the anesthesiologiest the first lesson and raved about The Work of Salvation broadcast and told him the time and place and about how crazy changes are happening. Am i a boss missionary or what? I now preach in my dreams, wake up to myself planning for the day, and even preach the gospel while under the influence. Im officially a missionary. Sister Berg my new comp got some on video, so if i can send those ohhhh i will. I was calling everyone unto repentance and baptism, and other nonsense stuff.   But now back to reality, can we just talk about how amazing that broadcast was?! The day before, me and my comp and the two elders who serve in Augusta with us met to talk about how we can change the Augusta area and get it fired up. We came to the conclusion that it has to start with the members, because we can knock on doors all we want but the true success lies within the members. Their potential is so great, and yet they have no faith in themselves and in turn their Heavenly Father. SO with that being said, i obtained an amazing family mission plan and spiced it up and have started to work with the members more and challenging them to fill out the plan and not only to fill it out but to pray for the desire, strength, and drive. We also talked about the fact that us four missionaries.... well we are all baby missionaries, and therefore we are done doing it the way previous missionaries have done. We aren't going to do things just because that's how it was done with every other elder in the area. We are going to be bold, fearless, and unaffraid to change things no matter how hard it will be. I know that success wont be SEEN right away, but i know that in the lord's time, the waters will flood. How amazing that just 24 hours after we met, the prophet and apostles echoed exactly what we talked about. I am ever so eager to see the changes happen and be apart of it. My oh my will it be so dang hard but guess what, i knew that when i put in my papers. And guess what else, that just means more blessings to all those whom i love so very much. The Lord also answered major prayers. We see little success with tracting, and honestly, it is extremely hard on my body. Ive been getting migraines up the wazoo here, and apparently my back despises humidity. Once again, it is so apparent that the Lord's work is changing and my needs will be taken care of with the changes. It is being geared from tracting, to internet work. While that may not be as exciting as walking and talking to people face to face, it will be something my body can handle, and something GREATER success will come from. Just gotta love the Lord for taking care of me every single time i ask...   So! my companion. Background story. Throughout last transfer, Sister Buxton always brought up with how concerned she was for her companion she trained the prior transfer. She felt like she had zero faith in people, and that because of that if effected the success. She called our mission pres and s. wilkey and voiced, who also felt the same concerns. They asked her to pray about it, so s. buxton did as well as fast, to which she got the answer she would be fine, just as long as she was with someone whose faith couldnt be shaken. She told the Wilkeys, to which they said "someone like sister cloward". Well, lo and behold here we are! It was extremely hard for me the first few days, because i had the knowledge i did, and it was apparent she did lack some faith. It literally ate at me... and Satan truly was working me. It just seriously sucked. I prayed so hard to love her, and to know how to build her, and to also allow her to build me. Finally, i just knew i needed to tell her everything. OH MY GOSH, why hadnt i thought of that sooner? It was one of the most amazing comp inventory's ever. I admire Sister Berg so much for her ability to hear her weaknesses, RECOGNIZE them, and want to make them strengths. We definately are a powerhouse. She has such an awesome ability to bring the facts to the table, and i know i can rely on her for knowledge that i don't know yet, whereas i have been blessed with the gift of testifying. There is nothing more powerful than feeling the gift of the spirit speaking boldly through me. It's just unreal to literally FEEL the spirit SPEAKING through me, and seeing the eyes of those i am testifying to soften, glisten with moisture, and truly become lighter. truly remarkable.   My investigators are definately progressing. Im sorry i don't talk about them so much, but i feel that my testimony speaks more volumes about how they are doing, because not only am i building them up but they are building me up even more. Oh how i love them all.   oh cool fact for the day.... the library i email at has a first edition of the Book of Mormon, and yes, i read some good of words of King Benjamin from it. The power i felt while holding it... reflecting on it's history, who has held the book, and the torment it truly has gone through is something i will not nor can i ever deny. The book is true.   Well, now i am going to chastize you all. Go get off your booty's and truly heed the call to fulfill your duty as a son or daughter of god. you are a member missionary. you promised your savior, your father, and your brothers and sisters before coming here that you would help the work, and help them come back to their father in heaven. it is time to go and do. i pray that the work hastens all over the world just as much as it is here in Augusta Maine, because of our realization as missionaries that we have the greatest responsibility in the world... which is to bring forth the children of God, unto Him again. i love you all, my dear brothers and sisters. so very much. so, truly, go and do.   sister cloward