Farewell President and Sister Wilkey

June 17, 2013

Well mom, being the last week with President Wilkey he asked our LTP's to be a bit different this week, and what he asked to write couldnt have laid out my week more perfectly and what my thoughts have been lately, so i'll mainly have that be my letter home this week! Quick update, im staying in Augusta another transfer! I knew i would, it has been so apparent how much I, Sister Cloward am needed here in Augusta. I cant wait to touch even more people here in the next 6 weeks with a brand new companion! My investigators are all so solid, we have a new one named Taylor who is 13. She is unreal. I go get my EGD?? Wednesday (i'll tell my comp to take a video when i wake up since im soooooooo hilarious after anesthesia). Poor companions first experience of me will be that haha. I go pick her up from New Hampshire tomorrow. Im sure ill love her to pieces. But, here is my letter. Hope you feel the spirit and the mighty change it's working on this Mainer daughter of yours!

To my dearest President and Sister Wilkey,

I want you two to know, i KNOW i came out on April 24th so that i could start my mission off with you two. I'm going to share something with you that you probably don't know. Putting my availability on April 24th came to me as a commandment. It was the last day of finals, and i knew it would be so stressful completing school and preparing for a mission all at once, but i knew i had to do it. I also was dating a boy, who i knew i could have an eternal marriage with. Needless to say, when i came out and met you two and through the experiences of truly learning from you both through just watching your example, i knew why i needed to come out on April 24th. I needed you two. So, what i have learned from Sister Wilkey, is the wife i want to become. The person i want to become... The mother i want to become. In 6 weeks i have learned exactly what i needed to learn from you. I have always been scared of the type of marriage i will have because of the lack of a marriage growing up, but i have full confidence in myself that if i strive to love my Lord and my God as much as you do, and hopefully more, that i will become the type of mother, wife, and friend you are. I learned i wasnt ready to take on a marriage, and that i made the BETTER righteous decision in coming out here to learn from you what the Lord needed me to learn, and that is to become a powerful wife and mother in Zion. Thank you Sister Wilkey! And you President Wilkey, you helped me understand my potential, and my divine right to never settle. Thank you both for your examples.

Now for what has been on my mind. My dad. So many times i have thought to pick up the phone and call him and just tell him a forgive him. That i truly forgive him with every Christlike fiber of my body! That i miss him, and have faith in him and love him. With yesterday being fathers day i tried to especially forget myself and just think about others in the ward who may long for a solid father. Elder Adkins gave the most inspired talk ever, and i cannot thank him enough for that. I've also been struggling with how in the world do i forget myself when i have medical needs i have to be cautious about. The balance isn't perfect yet, but i promise both of you i am trying my hardest to find it. I promise you both i will be a missionary who you two can be proud of, even if you are not seeing my efforts here.

President Wilkey, everything you said in the real play was so divinely inspired. The experience of baring my testimony to my sweet Dallan, knowing his time was near end, held so much power and i know we both will never deny the spirit and Saviors presence with us in those moments. I know Dallan will be told "Well done thou good and faithful servant" and i pray he and my Savior will both whisper those words as i kneel at their feet, bathing their feet in my tears, while exchanging the word servant for sister. Another so inspired thing was the moment you told me i was clean. It had been something i had been praying to know, where i stood before God just as Joseph prayed to have it manifested to Him. I had my fears that i wasnt worthy of the calling i hold. Thank you, for being so in tune. One last thing was when you promised me, that every righteous desire of mine will be made. Right away i thought of my dad. How i long for him to walk with Christ again. I know that is one of the purest desires i have ever had, because i want him to walk with Christ for his gain, and not mine. I know that a promise was made to me from God through you, and i know i am truly indebted to you for your service. I cannot thank you enough for the impact you and your wife, THROUGH the Savior have made in my life.

I hope you both know by my example that i have a testimony of trusting in my Savior. It's not a perfect testimony, but it's a testimony that continually is being tried and tested and growing. I know my Savior knows every bit of me. I know that as much as i want to be in His arms to gain comfort, he wants me to be in His arms to extend comfort. Our relationship is not perfect either, i disappoint Him every day. I hurt Him, I test His patience, but yet He is extends to me a perfect love all of the time. I know He loves me. Those 5 words hold more power in them than i will ever truly comprehend, but i know He does. He performs many beautiful miracles on my behalf each and every day. I cannot deny them nor will i ever, for He is my Savior and hath paid the price for ME. I love that i can love Him more and more each day. As a mortal i am not expected to have a PERFECT love for Him, because i cannot achieve that in the state i am in. So i boldly state now, each day i learn to love Him more, and each day i do love Him more.

My vision for being a Christlike missionary is to truly be the missionary my Father sees in me. He believes in me so much and trusts in me so much, that i need to turn it around and believe in myself because i know He is with me and believes in me, which is also my goal. Just being the missionary He sees me being. My plan to achieve that is by reflecting constantly when i receive inspiration or confirmation that the Spirit is working with me. My action will be to WRITE IT ALL DOWN!!! and to study all of the missionaries in our scriptures, and seek to improve the qualities they had that i want. My accountability will be to my Father and myself, asking Him to help me see where i am improving, not just where i can improve!

I love you both with all of my heart.
God be with you till we meet again!

Love,
Sister Cloward

the picture of me in the hideous jeggins and huge coat and heels... that is what you look like when you decide to milk cows and you are not in your area. ohhh the maneure was all over me. whatev's.

lo and behold, KEN.

the picture of lunch is my district. first two lovers you see are my zone leaders elder walker and kunz, then the next set is my dl and comp elder adkins and neilson, then me and sis deters (exchanges) and then the other two elders gassant and davis. basically the best district ever.