Abide With Me

January 13, 2014

Hello Hello!

 

All i can say is New Hampshire is weird. One day it was negative 15, and then it was pouring and flooding one day, then we all were ice skating, and now its in the 50's and SUNNY. But hey, PEOPLE ARE OUT ON THE STREETS so i cant complain!

 

Well, this week has been a whirlwind. It's been hard. It's been exhausting and spiritually exhausting too! But yet i am still so happy. I have no idea where i will be next week, home or here. who knows. But i do know that i trust my Heavenly Father and no matter what the doctors say, or president, or other people, all i have to do is find a sacred place and i will feel peace. All i have to do is turn to Him, and all will be well. Abide with me tis even tide has been a favorite this week. I need my Savior so much. I need Him every moment. I have to say i respect the JW's so much for going out and proselyting without having the spirit. We are promised the gift of the Holy Ghost! I am promised that if i just open my mouth, i will be laden with sheaves (converts) and i will know what to say! I am promised comfort, protection, guidance. All because i am one of His called ministers. This gospel means the world to me. It really does. I know that Heavenly Father is overjoyed that i accepted His call to serve. I know that He is overjoyed that i am spiritually in tune, and am following His will and being led in every moment. To all of you who keep asking when im coming home, it doesnt matter. I dont even know. But what matters is that in every moment i turn my will over to Him. And every moment i will. I promise you all, i have a 100% set apart heart. I know that what i am doing is what He wants me to. I am learning that every little mite we give, means more than gold to Him. I don't understand how, but i do know why. I wish i were as grateful as my Father and Savior are. I wish i didnt expect more sometimes. If what i give to them is enough, what others give so selflessly to me and to others should be enough too. I'm working on that.

 

So, tomorrow my beloved sister frampton goes home to get surgery and i will be receiving two new sisters to area train and show the ropes. There good ones, im not suppose to know who they are but since i do and since you asked who they are mom, might as well tell ya! Sister Waite and Sister Smith! I still cant believe i'll be on my 8th companion in 7 transfers and the only companion i had for more than 6 weeks was the one i trained. It must be a record. But i have been so blessed to have had so many different lives touch me. I know ive been entrusted with so many great spirits! Companions are sure awesome. Hard, but so so awesome. I heard marriage is even better, cause then you get to pick you who your with.

 

We picked up a couple new investigators who are solid and prepared. Pray for Fran and Mady!

 

Tomorrow i am going to Vermont to the Joseph Smith Memorial with the group that is returning home since the Boston Temple is closed for cleaning. I'm in need of a lot of inspiration and revelation, and what a blessing it is that tomorrow, i will be in a grove of trees where Joseph has prayed! Where he was born.... and where he was prepared much for his own calling in life. I feel like the most blessed missionary in the world. I am. I really am.

 

The other day we were at a members whose husband has recently become sober and just got the priesthood. She has had so many battles and hard times in her life that still continue. As we sat and listened to her, i had one of the most cherished moments ever. I looked at her hands, and i saw my moms hands. I saw skinny, bony hands that were hard working hands. I saw hands that have lifted so many spirits, who have held on to hopeless spirits, who have patted so many despaired spirits, and who have comforted so many spirits. I saw My Saviors hands, who are constantly stretched out before mine. I saw His hands, embracing me. The spirit was so pure. I wish everyone in the world could feel what i felt. Once again, i just love this gospel.

 

May we all come to see the hands that are outstretched before us, and may we all reach out to those who need lifting.

I love and pray for you all, and i feel your prayers right back.

 

Sister Cloward

 

elder robison! he had my heart the minute i met him on the plane. just an hour earlier, i saw him kneeling down with president in prayer, after his final interview before he heads off to brazil. he has changed my life.

 

they call us the manchfam.

 

dr reinfurt!

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Miracles

January 6, 2014

Dear Everyone. 

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I AM ALIVE RIGHT NOW. but i am!

Seriously though... Ready for a crazy injury prone week?!

I guess i'll just start from the beginning of the week.

Once upon a time, we got a call from HANNAH. And let me tell you, the sisters have been trying to get a hold of her for about 6 months now... After texting her lovely things for 3 months, SHE FINALLY CALLED! We listened to her heart, and basically me and Sister Frampton are begging her to move to Utah with us and live with us. She's so awesome. She even begged us to go tracting. WHEN DOES THAT EVER HAPPEN? Uh, never. Miracle number one.

Wednesday came, and my gosh i felt like a mountain had just fell right on top of me. We went to the Stokers so i could ride the bike and take a very lovely bubble bath, and then headed right back home. I definately think a bubble bath after 9 months is a miracle. Miracle DOS.

Thursday. Ohhh thursday. So i dont know if you've ever heard about a good New England storm... they really are real. We got grounded that day, so we decided we were going to walk the 3 miles to the office in the blizzard because we were sick of the apartment and we obviously cant go shovel all day. But of course, the Pettingills called and got permission to come pick us up. Miracle 3.

Now, for the injury day #1, Friday we were still grounded cause the storm was still happening so the Pettingills came to get us again. We were walking to the car, and it finally happened. I slipped and nailed my head right into a steel frame, then passed out. Don't even ask how i perfectly managed to hit the frame. So obviously i had a concussion... and was way out of it. We get to the office and i just start puking. So my lovely companion and sister pettingill teamed up and called sister stoker on me, then made me call dr aldous. i had to tell him all the other things that have been going on, like my passing out for weeks and my sharp pains in my ribs, so he chastised me, told me to give the phone to sister frampton... and chastised her, then told me to go to the er. Fat chance of that... So instead i went to Dr knight, whose nurse told me i had to go the ER for my concussion before they can see me for the other stuff. Again, i refused. Good thing im a missionary and Heavenly Father takes care of us right? I was able to see Dr knight without an ER trip. Miracle 4.

BUT ON THE WAY.... Sister Pettingill drove us there, and the roads were awful. So as we are turning onto the road of the hospital, with a drop off on the left side and a guard rail with a pile of snow in front, Sister P loses control and we slammed right into the rail, but managed to not go flying down the drop off that was only a couple feet from the rail, and not get stuck either! It was like we played bumper boats. We slammed the rail, and then slid right back onto the path we needed. Sister Pettingill screamed OH THANK YOU LORD! and all we could do was laugh, cause obviously laughter is way better than crying right? And then i looked back to the spot, and what i saw was the most beautiful thing ever. Angles were just lined up all brightly beaming. We're alive... Miracle five!

Saturday was awesome. We met with Nance to make moms famous almond bread and to have a lesson before she was confirmed yesterday. I did a lot of sliding on the road that day too, CAUSE IT WAS RAINING. I swear New England has the weirdest weather. But anyway, i asked her how she felt since being baptized. She told me that she has felt so much more confidence, and a lot of peace in situations she would normally be frustrated in! 

Sunday i woke up and was NOT myself. I couldnt even walk. It was weird. I managed to get on my knees and just plead and talk with Heavenly Father. I told Him i wanted to go to church and that i needed a tender mercy. He blessed me so much. I knew Tammy wouldnt be at church and she is my little angel during sacrament, so i was begging him to send someone else. I sat down, and here comes the cutest little girl named Shay who is here for the holidays. She plopped right down next to me and cuddled right into my arms. My heart just melted, and as i held her (NOT ON MY LAP I PROMISE!) I was overwhelmed with our Father's love. Completely. I am His little child too, and all He wants is for me to nuzzle right into His arms and feel safe and loved. I sure felt it. Then after RS My next little mercy came. Oh sweet Hermione. She came and cuddled up to me too, and asked if she could see my scriptures. She somehow knew i had pictures in there too, so she asked to see them all. I started showing her all my loved ones, and got to one of Dallan. I told her he is so special and that his body works different than ours. She kept asking how its different, and why, and how things work. She then got quiet, and looked at me and said "If he cant talk for himself, who speaks for him?" i just cried. and cried, and cried somemore, and told her "Our Savior does". It really got me thinking of the Atonement. Christ walked our path so He could speak for us. He atoned for us so He could stand beside us, and plead our cause. He suffered, so He could be our advocate, our voice, our legs, our Hero, when no one else could. Jesus Christ is truly my hero. Dallan, you too are my hero. AND THEN! Sister Crowley came to me and we just talked. She looked at me at me and told me "Sister Cloward, there have only been three people in my life that i have seen with a sparkle in their eye so bright it radiates all the time. You are one of them. Miracle six.

Sunday night we got in to see a LA and an Investigator who had right before we stopped in, smoked 2 packs each. The room was a disaster, and the spirit was just not there at first. But as we sung "I am a Child of God", the spirit was so much present. It was so overwhelming! Again it was confirmed that I, SISTER CLOWARD, am a child. I am a child to the most Heavenly Man alive. Hearts were softened that night. And i still dont have lung cancer. Miracle Seven.

And then i had a really awkward moment. We got into the elevator and we were still dying of the smell. It stopped on floor seven, and in walks a man who was seriously sent from God. Why? because he smelt so good. So what did i chose to say to this man in that awkward elevator setting? "Oh my gosh you smell so!.... (and then i stopped to think for a minute. Is telling a man they smell good inappropriate? Probably Sister Cloward. dont say that...) you smell fruity! I told the man he smelt fruity. I dont even know guys. 

NOW the last injury of the week. This morning im just singing away walking in the rain (yes... rain) and im walking to the car. This man totally looks at me and thinks im the cutest or weirdest thing in the world singing away when all of a sudden, i slip and started going face first towards the asphalt, so i hurried and tried to twist to not kill my face, but still managed to hit my head and back THE TWO THINGS I TRIED TO NOT LAND ON. But hey, im still alive. Just majorly banged up haha. I seriously have so many angels its a joke, I have a whole team of them!

Well everyone, pray that there will be no more storms here. I think that will solve a lot of my problems!

OH mom, you asked when we teach! We teach from 5-8 m-f and all day sat and sunday! Hallelujah we have some awesome investigators that keep us busy! THE LORDS WORK IS HASTENING and i have the greatest calling in the world to be so much a part of it. I love this work to the moon and back.

Love,

Sister Cloward

I MASTERED YOUR ALMOND BREAD, still not as good as yours though ma.

i made my first snow angel.

selfie snowgear saturday. it was -15 that day.

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