I guess i should start with why i have decided to go serve. When i was 18, i was fasting for a very specific purpose. It was my last Sunday as a fresh HS graduate who was ready to take off and head to BYU. As i listened to the testimonies, one after the other, i noticed two missionaries who were sitting on the stand. I thought about how much i had always wanted to serve, but after just having another surgery and analyzing my health i kind of just brushed it off. However, one missionary stood and bore his testimony, and after his testimony i knew the lord needed me to start preparing then to serve. I was so confused, i mean i still had 3 years to think and prepare, and i thought i would FOR SURE be married by then because let's get real, everyone knows how much i love kids and cooking, perfect wife material right? So, i took the answer i got as to prepare myself to be temple worthy because i just may be getting married soon (guys, dont ever interpret Gods words into your own. Just don't.) Two semesters later, in my Social Work class, i was once again prompted. Start preparing Chelsea, you will be called to serve me. I couldnt deny it. Shortly after, things started to fall into place for a back surgery with one of the best surgeons for the job. Our hopes were to be near pain free after removing all of the hardware. After one of the most brutal trials God has given me, and realizing the pain hadn't diminished at all, i put the thought out of my mind.
October came, and my mom had decided to bring the boys up for conference. The boys had stayed at one of my friends apartments in my complex, so i woke up just before it started, gathered stuff to make them some breakfast and headed over there. Right as i walked in, the prophet was announcing the girls age change. I honestly didn't know what to think, but i knew i needed to get advice. Monday came, and i decided to text my stake president from home and asked him if he had a minute, if he could call me to talk about it. His reply, "your name came to my mind when they made the announcement. I'm in Utah right now, let's meet in Provo tonight."
So we did. Sitting upstairs in the Wilk in one of the booths, i discussed the thought of a mission. I knew the Lord had prepared me. But i just didnt think i could. Basically, i knew i should, but i just loved where i was at in life and didnt want to give that up. The next day, October 9th (aka my birthday) i decided i wasnt going to get an answer until i made my decision. I sought out getting a blessing from one of my most favorite men, Brother Parry, and talking to him before i knew my decision was made. I was going to go. In the blessing, it was confirmed to me not only that i should go, but that God was very pleased with my ability to discern what he had been telling me all along, and that i have the ability to love those with different mental and physical disabilities and that i would do a lot of work with those types of people.
I called my stake president and bishop, told them my decision, and told them most importantly, do not tell anyone, not even my mom. I knew that there was a huge possibility that i would be told that i would not be able to serve, and that i wouldnt get the support from some people, so it remained a secret for a month (until my sister found out, who told me i better tell mom or she'll kill me.) But i really felt as though whether i served or not, showing my faith in the Lord by putting in my papers while knowing i don't have to serve, and medically i shouldnt serve, i could be healed. So, thanksgiving i came home and secretly did all the steps necessary, but knew i wanted to go another semester so i had to wait to put them in.
For about a month, i had been getting promptings that i needed to date someone seriously before i left. For those of you who know me, that just wasn't my thing. I'm a logical thinker, so why would i date someone right before i leave? It just didn't make sense until i met Jake.
Fast forward a month, and my papers are now in, and i am now officially dating someone. Talk about mixed emotions people. I pressed on, patiently anticipated my call, while trying to prepare myself for a rejection letter, when three weeks later President Ostler texted me the call had been made. I was in the middle of a technology test for my major, hurried and read the text, and just started tearing up with the happiest heart in the world. I was going to be a missionary. A week later, i flew home, opened up my call (here's a video of it) (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200294309146885&l=349684932233111151) and never once doubted.
Any now here i am three months later. Ready to hear all the emotions a girl can have in three months?
I got into my program and was one happy lady.
I fell in love for the first time and became even happier.
I found out who my new mission president was, and became even more happy.
I went on a cruise with my family, and became way more tan, and way more happy.
I got an answer that i could stay and marry a certain someone, but the Lord has an even better choice for me, and i became confused, but yet still happy.
I ended classes and started finals the same moment and became a stress case (but still so happy cause finals were done).
I started packing and sobbing every moment, because i knew i was at the end of the road i was currently on (but still happy guys!).
I flew home, and went through the temple and had so many mixed emotions. I loved it, but at the end of the day my heart wasn't set on a mission, and i didn't want to go.
The next day, i gave my farewell, and the Lord took it all from there. I had prepared a talk that morning, but after going through it, and getting ready to leave i just knew i couldnt give this. Someone needed to hear the Lord more than they needed to hear me, so i went up with only a take in mind and an ipad in hand, and boy let me tell you. It wasn't me, it was the lord.
Now rewind to last summer, sitting in the waiting area for a bishop interview before leaving back to college. I was fresh from surgery, and in walks a woman who was being reactivated. She was raised a member, but because of childhood trauma and other events she chose a different path than the church. Just a short time prior though, she had starting coming to church. We sat there, as she told me about her substance abuse addictions and I sat and told her how I wanted to serve, but didnt know if I could ( little did I know just 2 months later I'd start my papers!)
Fast forward to last night at my open house. She came over, and said she wanted to share something about New Hampshire with me.
Rewind back to Saturday. My heart was not in a mission. Satan was working me hard, and I just didn't want to go. So i decided to really pray about why God needed me in New Hampshire (as Jake inspiredly told me to do so while giving me a blessing)
Now fast forward Monday morning. She came over, and handed me a piece of paper. On it was a marriage certificate for the state of New Hampshire for her, and her bride. This woman is bi sexual. She goes on to tell me how my talk was so directed at her, and felt as though god was speaking to her. She proceeds to tell me she was prompted to share her testimony, and thus proceeded to do so, all about how her and her wife had everything. Masters, jobs, a big home, and soon children. To the world, she shoulda been happy. But she wasnt so she left her wife and moved into our ward and shortly after is when we first talked. She started to tell me how liberal my area is and how hard it'll be, but that she knows someone is struggling with her same situation and needs to hear here testimony, and ultimately gave me guidance on how to approach people who are gay and bring them to Christ. Immediately it clicked. I have been praying to know why I'm serving there, and she brought my answer. I started to think back to the two sets of lesbians I nannied for, then to my friend who came out freshman year, then to one of my BEST friends who came out this year, who helped me understand so much, and who let me take care of him when really he was just being another blessing to me sent from God. I thought about the blessing I got the day I made my decision to serve, and how it specifically talked about how I have a special ability to reach out those who are special, with difficult mental trials, and this whole time I have thought it was disabled people like Dallan, and now I know. I have been called for a specific set of people, who feel they are not loved by god because of who they love. I have so much love and understanding for them, and this woman was Gods gift of telling me why I am serving and who I need to reach. Ill forever be grateful for a father who sends such huge examples in my life to bring answers. I couldn't be more humbled to know of my specific purpose as a missionary. I have found my people, and once again am humbled at a God who has given me the gifts to understand and love those who some find it hardest to love. I know that i won't be limited to just them, and maybe i won't even know that someone is dealing with that while teaching them. But just as i was strongly prompted to not give my talk and let the spirit be my guide, this woman was so strongly prompted to share her experience and testimony with me. I know the Lord works in perfect ways, and i know i needed to hear her testimony to push my heart in the right direction. SO, off i go, in less that 24 hours to serve as a set apart representative of Christ. I am more than grateful for this opportunity. One of the biggest reasons i have chosen to do this, is because of the blessings that will pour out on the people who have blessed me, and most importantly my children.
I know my life has a purpose, and right now, my purpose is with the people in the East. It scares me knowing all the things i'll miss, all the times i'll get rejected, and leaving my sweet dall and mom, but i know greater blessings will come and i will never once regret my decision to serve.
So there ya have it. I'm a missionary.
